The Biggest Contributor to Low Self-Esteem

Let go of low self-esteem & the negative thinking in your head

Negative self-talk is the biggest contributor to low self-esteem.  Do you know that little voice in your head that lies to you and tells you, “You’re not good enough, you can’t do this or you’re a loser.”  That little nagging voice can be harmful to you and can totally bring your self-esteem down in a flash.

There are ways that you can turn that negative talk in your head into positive, moving forward, power talk that will inspire you to be your best, walk a little taller and confident. Well I want to share a few tricks that will turn those negative self defeating thoughts around.

Let Go of Perfection

Perfection is very unrealistic thinking but most people try to find it.  It is also a symptom of low self-esteem.   No one is perfect and no one ever will be. People are human and all make mistakes from time to time. To improve how you feel about yourself, you will need to do your best everyday even if you don’t feel like it.  Forget about being perfect and just be you.

Sometimes when you experience thoughts that make you feel bad about yourself which we all do that from time to time, you need to remember these low moods will change. They are always temporary and do not stick around long. If you find yourself stuck in a low mood for a few days, consider seeing your doctor to discuss it. It may be a more serious mental health issue.

You need to be realistic in the fact that it is ok not to be perfect. Perfectionism can be a real problem because it is basically setting yourself up for failure. It’s unachievable.  No one is perfect.  I have never met a person who has not made some type of mistake during their life.   It boils down to being realistic.  Yes, we want to be perfect but if I put that type of pressure on myself I am setting myself up for disappointment when I can’t deliver perfectionism.

It comes down to setting realistic goals in your life with a step by step and sometimes a baby step plan to get there.  When you make strides and check off a baby step on your list, you will find you are way more happier, feeling more confident, and yep, negative thoughts will not be the result.  You will feel more accomplished and the end result, feel better about yourself. A total win 🙂
 

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

There is no need to compare yourself to others because guess what, everyone is wonderfully unique with their own strengths,  gifts and abilities. Yep, you have them and they are different than mine. There’s no need to compare yourself to the next guy because the next guy is different than you.

So they may have an expensive car, watch, great shoes, husband, 2.5 kids, etc…. shiny things you want but the point is you need to consider most of the time things are not always what they seem. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
 
Many times when speaking to those people, I find they still have their own issues/problems and insecurities as crazy as that would seem.  Many of them suffer from low self-esteem as well.    The point is they have those old insecurities because they’re human, put their pants on the same way as you and I do.  We are all people, wonderfully wacky unique people with one of a kind gifts.
 

So to bring us back on point, your strengths, gifts and abilities, to find them ask yourself the following questions. What you are good at? What do you have a passion for? What are your abilities? What do other people say you’re good at?

Make a list of those qualities. You will be able to create a list. Sit somewhere quietly with a piece of paper and think. Try to make a list of a minimum of 5 strengths. You can do it. We all have at least 5 of them. Trust me they’re there.
 

Once your identify those gifts, embrace them as yours and you will feel more positive.  Look I would not recommend doing this if it did not work.  I only write about skills I know works because it worked for me and if I find myself having a rough go of it, I know I do feel better when I look at the good qualities I possess and you will too.

Let Go of the Negative Self-Talk & Low Self-Esteem

Now this one is the toughest of the bunch.  It becomes a bad habit quickly. The brain is pretty much hard wired to lean towards the negatives of situations. You have to make a conscious effort to go towards the positive. So what is one way a person can turn  that negative mood or mindset into a positive one, try affirmations.

Affirmations are statements that are positive in nature. Remember the list you made of the 5 strengths, well here is a homework assignment. Take an index card or piece of paper about that size and make affirmations out of your strengths.

Here’s what I mean. For example, let’s say one of my strengths I came up with for my list was people tell me “You’re so friendly”.  Ok so I would write on the index card “I am friendly” or “I am easy going”, or “I am a good friend” get the drift.  Now follow that with the other 4 strengths written into affirmations.

Take the index card and tape it some place where you will see it many times throughout your day. For example, you can hang it on the bathroom mirror where you brush your teeth. You can place the card in your car to look at when you are stopped in traffic or even hang it on the refrigerator.  I have a sticky on my computer monitor at work.  The point is put the card where you will see it a lot during the day. This way you will ingrain these statements into your mind.  You are retraining your brain.  This simple exercise will make you feel better about yourself. This works try it.

So work on making yourself feel better, by stop comparing yourself to others, stop trying to make everything perfect no one can and finally work on getting rid of that negative self-talk with affirmations.

Ok now I want to hear what you think about low self-esteem.  Please leave a comment below of how do you combat issues with it?  What are your tricks to staying more positive?
 
Ready to start your journey to feeling better about yourself and kick low self-esteem to the curb?  Click the link to book a session for your free 15 min recovery strategy call now.

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