In my field as a counselor, many times I can recognize early signs that a client will probably experience an addiction relapse. I don’t need a crystal ball. It’s quite obvious. I wanted to share these signs so that you can see them in yourself before a relapse.
These are my top 3 signs of an upcoming relapse and how to fix it:
Sign # 1: Not Being Honest with Yourself
Not being honest with yourself or denial as it truly is called is a tough one and strong force hindering a recovery. It can corrupt your thought life if you let it.
A person will understand that their drinking/drug use has become a problem in one thought and, in another thought, will be completely able to (in their mind) “rationally” feel they are not an addict or alcoholic. You know the real truth.
Denial is sad because it truly is just a person lying to themselves about the extent of the problem.
So if you are still wondering if you have a drug/alcohol problem, stay with me and read on. Ask yourself the questions below. I promise if you are truthful with yourself (not anyone else just you), you will know the answer.
(PSA: any family members reading this, your nagging/bitching to an addict/alcoholic about their addiction doesn’t help- typically makes it worse and can be the cause of an addiction relapse so knock it off. They already know they probably have a problem & guess what, most of the time part of the underlying issue has to do with you. Yes sorry but true so please keep your “help” to yourself)
Ok back on topic so if you can’t figure it out here’s a strategy that works: (sorry about the rant above (my PSA) but a lot of times family sabotage recovery attempts so it fires me up)
Coping strategy:
Sit quietly with yourself and look at your drinking/drug use. Ask yourself these questions:
- Is it a problem in your life?
- Are your finances a crash & burn?
- Is it causing stress in your life?
- Is it causing relationship difficulties with your friends and loved ones?
- If so, well you know the answer……it’s a problem.
Sign #2: You are NOT the priority
In any successful recovery from addiction or depression or anxiety, you must be the priority which means you have to focus on yourself and your physical and mental health.
People that experience an addiction relapse are mostly trying to please others and do not take care of themselves. They are stressed out, overworked, over tired, eating sometimes which is mainly junk food most of the time, don’t go to counseling and aren’t applying healthy coping skills to their life.
When I meet people who are doing these things, it is a red flag as a counselor. I don’t need a crystal ball because I know a relapse is coming.
Coping strategy:
Look at your lifestyle. Ask yourself:
Are you taking care of yourself? When was the last time you had a check up? When was the last time you spoke to a counselor? Have you thought about when was the last time you made yourself the priority?
Probably a while. Look at these things and make small adjustments in your life. Recovery is about baby steps, one step at a time, one day at a time.
Sign #3: You have toxic assholes in your life.
Sorry about the language but I’m right. If you have manipulators, toxic people, friends that are drug users or power drinkers in your life, you will more than likely experience an addiction relapse.
Unfortunately, the saying is true “birds of a feather…..” and sometimes these people are family members 🙁 I know sad truth but if this situation doesn’t change it’s just a matter of time before you relapse.
Coping strategy:
Set healthy boundaries. Not everyone in your life is meant to stay in your life permanently. Some are only there for a season. Sometimes we outgrow them and that’s perfectly ok.
It’s a sad truth but these manipulators or toxic folks are called toxic for a reason. They will make it near impossible to stay clean and sober.
Make yourself the priority and set boundaries (rules/standards for your life) with these people and let them go. They are not good for you. If they are family members, limit contact and if they start behaving badly, make an excuse to get off the phone, run to the store or not come over. Healthy boundaries will help you. I promise.
These are my top 3 reasons I see as a counselor that are the main reason people relapse. These reasons can be corrected quite easily but it takes work and practice.
If you are trying to change and continue to have issues staying clean and sober, please reach out to me and book your free 15 min recovery journey strategy call. If I cannot help you I will gladly refer you to someone in your area that can.
You can learn more about me on my LinkedIn profile
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