Toxic relationships can be found everywhere in daily life…at the office and unfortunately sometimes in our homes. Most of the time these type of people ruin our mood and day.
Toxic by its very definition means poisonous. Since I assume you are smart enough not to just have a cup of poison with your breakfast since you are here reading this blog post why would it be ok to be around a “friend” or family member who is toxic for your mind?
According to a survey conducted by Today.com and Self magazine of 22,000 people, 1 in 3 people had a toxic friend or toxic relationships in their life¹. Whoa now that is a lot of people struggling with unhealthy relationships. Being around toxic people increases feelings of depression, anxiety and emotional exhaustion.
In this post, I would like to discuss how to spot these toxic people so you can identify them in your own life and then how to avoid them or limit your exposure to them so you can improve your mood.
Toxic people or toxic relationships look like this:
- The toxic person is always talking about themselves and their latest drama
- The unhealthy person is always the victim of something/the ultimate pessimist
- Toxic people are manipulative and judgmental
- They are inconsistent, disrespectful and embarrassing at times
- They never apologize for their actions (it’s always someone else’s fault)
- An unhealthy person will make you feel like defending yourself
- They are exhausting to be around (when you leave them you are extremely mentally over it)
- Toxic people are not caring and selfish.
- They lack empathy.
Here’s a great infographic I found of the various types of toxic people which I must say is spot on. Don’t you think so as well.
Look at your own life and I’m pretty sure you can come up with a name or 2 of people in your life that may not be very healthy to be around. The problem also can be compounded if these toxic people are family members.
I’m a counselor and as for myself I have never met a totally functional family. To be honest, all families even my own have some type of dysfunction. So don’t worry if some of the big offenders are from the family list.
Listen by minimizing how much time you spend with these energy vampires each day, you will feel less depressed, less anxious, better about yourself and more confident. It’s a total win.
So how do you cope with these people that you have identified and what about the ones you can’t totally avoid, what do you do with that?
- Set healthy boundaries & limit contact with them
- Put your own mental health as the priority & let them go to voicemail
- Decide to let go of things outside of your control (other people’s bad behavior for instance)
- Trust your intuition (if something seems off with the person then it is)
- Create a cheat sheet/list of excuses why you can’t chat with them right now or visit
- Work on improving your self esteem & confidence by talking with a counselor
- Incorporate more self-care into your week (will increase strength to deal with these types of people)
Once you start making yourself the priority in your own life, you will feel more empowered. Your mood will be less depressed and anxious. You will not find yourself constantly self-medicating the emotional overwhelm with food, drugs, shopping and alcohol. You won’t feel so over it and checked out of your own life. It’s important for your mental health to look at this issue.
Also if you are anxious about losing these folks from your life, let me assure you there are plenty of supportive healthy individuals out there. Setting healthy boundaries is all about finding the healthy people because they will show you respect, love and kindness which is what life is supposed to be about.
So if you should have some toxic people in your life, no worries, we have all been there but it’s about making yourself the priority & find the healthy supportive friends.
Updated 10/24/20: if you would like to help yourself learn how to cope with toxic relationships & build your confidence check out the new Recovery Journey Workbook – Toxic Relationships. It’s a digital download so you get it immediately. Click here to go to the workbook.
If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below. I would love to chat about this.
Also if you would like help learning to set healthy boundaries with toxic people in your life, book your free 15 min recovery strategy call
¹Reference: https://www.today.com/health/toxic-friends-8-10-people-endure-poisonous-pals-1C9413205
Infographic https://www.studypk.com/narcissistic-sociopath-psychopath-different-types-of-toxic-people/
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