There are times in life when we come against challenges, issues or when life hits a spell that’s not going your way and everything is going wrong. Honestly, I hate when this happens and unfortunately, we all go through this at times. Enter problem solving even in really tough times.
The issues I’m am talking about can be big ass punches like life threatening illnesses, job loss, death, financial loss or significant relationship issues to smaller things that happen one right after the other like an unexpected bill, time management issues or a child who has gotten off course and driving you crazy with that teen attitude (yeah, if you have a teen you know the one 😉 ). When these issues hit, it is easy to sit there and think “I’m over it. I can’t take anymore of this BS, I’m done.”
When challenges appear, it is not necessarily that you have done anything wrong and typically it’s not about you. Identifying that is huge because it helps you stay away from feeling depressed and anxious which obviously can worsen with challenges. It’s taking a realistic approach to the issue and using problem solving skills.
For example, your company laid you off. Totally not your fault. The company had issues but still your mind goes into panic, freak out mode and says “how are you going to support yourself?”
Don’t Get Stuck, Buttercup
This is where people typically get stuck or forge through the challenge. I want to give you a way to continue on when you do not feel like it. It feels easier to watch tv and sleep and shut out the world. I like that idea sometimes, but that coping skill is not effective or problem solving at all. It is stuffing it down for later and chances are why you are watching that show or trying to fall asleep, you’re dwelling on the thought/problem anyways. If you do happen to fall asleep the problem is smacking you in the face as soon as you awaken.
These types of thoughts are called ruminating thoughts because they continue to play over and over in your head and typically the thoughts will start in with the initial issue and then turn on you like “you’re bad, you’re a loser, you’re broke”. Those awful thoughts that make us feel bad about ourselves and increase depression and anxiety. These are the negative thoughts that keep you stuck in worry mode and feeling awful about your situation and even worse, yourself.
Handling Your Business
The trick to getting rid of these types of thoughts is to challenge them. You need to look at the negative thought as the complete BS it is and remind yourself “well I got the last job, I can get another one.” You can remind yourself to take it one day at a time by looking at it this way “I may have a bad medical report but there are constantly new treatments and medications coming out.”
Now you may have to repeat those challenging statements over and over initially at least but at some point your brain will compute and then when a negative deal shows up, your brain will shoot it down with challenging it.
The key is you have to be willing to change your mindset because truly only you can fix your mood. I know that you do not like the mood you are feeling or you wouldn’t be reading this. We have all had difficulties with moods at times. Me too but I found if I challenged those thoughts and looked at them rationally instead of emotionally I was able to cope with them better.
Kick that Anxiety to the Curb
So if your anxious to try this remember, what do you have to lose? Absolutely nothing…you’re already feeling anxious, depressed and lousy. If panic is rising up, take a few long deep breathes and repeat “I will calm down. I have calmed down before. This negative situation/whatever will turn around. It always does.” Try listening to a guided meditation because if you focus on the person who is talking you are not focusing on the anxious thought.
If that does not work, remember there are always good mental health providers in your area. Therapists and counselors are great for providing you with support, encouragement, and validation that you are not stuck on the crazy train, no one is actually. If they do not do that for you, you need to continue to look around. That provider might not be a good fit.
A useful mental health provider can help you take apart these negative thoughts one by one and challenge it. Also they can help you learn the tools that you need to use when problem solving or when anxiety or depression come up so you can handle those thoughts/feelings and continue to move towards a life that you love.
Please leave your comments below on how you handle negative thoughts and anxiety.
If you are struggling please reach out to me below on the contact form and we can discuss what is the best move for you so that you can get back to that happy place that we all love to be in. Just put your name and email. I’m no techie so I don’t know how to get the web address off the form lol…
Smile Sunshine, your life is about to change for the better 😊 .
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