Recovery can mean a lot of different things to different people. To me recovery can mean from a loss, addiction, divorce or mental health issue like depression and anxiety.
I looked it up and the actual definition means “to return to a normal state of health, mind or strength.” I like that definition because before recovery, there is nothing more than complete negative thinking and no or totally poor attempts to cope with those thoughts.
I want to give you 4 tips that will help give you the foundation to skyrocket your recovery from whatever state you are presently in to a stronger one.
1 Get Around Like Minded People
This is important to any recovery. You become like the people you are mostly around. For example, if I am trying to not be depressed or anxious or drunk/high and I am around depressed, anxious, drunk or high people, guess what? I will probably be depressed, anxious, drunk and high.
We become who we are around. The 12 step programs say watch your people, places and things to avoid relapse. It’s correct. Look at your mood when you are around people, does it match? Probably close or if not it will become like the group.
Therefore, the fix get around like minded people. For example, if I want to be successful in my career, then I want to get around positive, successful people who are moving forward in their career. If I hang out with people that hate their jobs then I bet in a few I’ll hate my job too.
Check your mood when you around the “glass ½ empty people”. I guarantee your mood will be lower when you part ways. These people are energy suckers like vampires. They suck that positive energy or excitement right out of you. They are draining.
2 Self Care
This one is actually a very important step that most people pretty much blow off. Self care is huge. Most people say “I’m too busy. I don’t have time.” If one does not take good care of themselves, recovery is darn near impossible. We are created with a mind, body and soul. All 3 need to be in congruence and working efficiently together to move away from negative mood states which many times lead to substance abuse.
To me that means, eating a balanced way. It doesn’t have to be completely healthy (I love Taco Tuesday just like the next guy) but just well-rounded. So maybe Taco Tuesday and then a few days of eating healthy.
If I tell myself, “Cindy you will never eat any cake again”, I am completely setting myself up for failure because guess what I like cake. I don’t deprive myself of cake but I don’t eat it every day either. It’s all about moderation and reasonable expectations. That’s the key.
Move a bit and give the screen a rest. This country is stuck in the screen (tv, cell phone , laptop or Playstation). I am guilty of this too I’m not going lie but seriously sometimes it has to be put down. Life is worth living and experiencing.
Sometimes to give myself a “mental health” break I go sit quietly by myself at the beach. I shut my eyes, breathe and just listen. I love that time because it gives me a break from the running around frenzied feeling. Have you ever been at that pace? The crazy running around one? Well how is that helpful to any recovery? It’s not.
3 If It Happened in the Past, Leave That Shit There
Hmmmmm…….. Yep, the past is the past. Many people get hung up on this one because they keep reliving every bad experience over and over which hinders any recovery. I hate to break this to you but the past cannot be changed……EVER.. so get out of that “I would have…should have…could have…” mindset.
The past is a reminder of where you were at one time. Not today and hopefully not ever again. Looking back at the past shows you how much stronger you are today.
For example, if you were addicted to something like drugs or alcohol, well guess what you aren’t today because drunk or high people are not reading this right now they are hungover or sleeping. If you were depressed and thinking of hurting yourself previously, you aren’t today because you are reading this about recovery which means remember the definition, you are returning “to a normal state” and you are interested in doing that for yourself.
We all have past experiences that weren’t all cotton candy and roses but the most important thing is they do not define who you are or who you will be. Let that shit go (there’s a reason there is a t-shirt that says that 😉 )
4 You Are NOT a Bad Person!!!
This is true you are not a bad person. You have lived through possibly bad experiences and circumstances but as I said earlier they do not define you. We all make bad choices, mistakes and decisions at some point. Have you ever met a perfect person? Me either.
I look at my past and view it as stepping stones to where I am today. I am not the same girl I was 5…10…20 years ago at all and neither are you.
People may have told you that you are bad, stupid or what you did was awful, but you know what…. Always consider the source. People that are telling you that are not are telling you the truth. They are projecting insecurities or things inside themselves onto you.
People that are good supportive people are not ones that find fault. Ignore the statements and consider who told you that. Many times these negative BS statements can be family members, teachers or so called professionals in the legal system. The takeaway is they are BS statements!
You define who you are! You say who you are! If you don’t like being depressed, you can change it. If you don’t like being anxious, you can change it. If you don’t like using drugs or alcohol, once again you can change it.
This is the cool part of recovery. You can change yourself to what ever or whomever you would like to be. It does not matter what others think or say because you and only you are in charge of you.
As always these tips will be helpful to some and not to others because guess what, recovery is a completely personal process and different for everyone because we are all different. Some tips may work for you and some not. I know that I have personally tried the things I am asking you to try and they have worked to help me be stronger, more peaceful and actually to where I am loving my life. My wish is that for you too.
Life is meant to be lived and not endured. When you have truly entered into recovery, you will find peace from the past and that is just wonderful. Yes, the real cotton candy and roses times 😊
If at any point you do feel this is way too overwhelming for you please reach out to me so I can get you connected with a mental health professional in your area.
If you have any tips on how you have recovered from negative thinking or addictions, please comment below. I would love to hear your thoughts and you never know you may help someone that is reading this too.
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