There are tips below to Beat Holiday Anxiety & Stay Sober When Around Toxic Family Members
The holiday season is meant to be a time of happiness, love, and laughter. But what if you have a tough time when you’re around family members who make you feel anxious or unhappy? Don’t worry – you can learn how to manage your anxiety and stay strong during the holidays. Here are some simple tips to help you enjoy the season without feeling overwhelmed.
Take Deep Breaths: When you start to feel anxious, remember to take slow, deep breaths. This can help you calm down and think more clearly. Try counting to four as you breathe in, and then count to four as you breathe out.
Stay Positive: Focus on the good things about the holidays. It could be the delicious food, the pretty decorations, or the joy of gift-giving. Try to find something positive to think about, even when you’re around tough family members.
Set Boundaries: It’s important to know your limits. If a conversation is making you uncomfortable, politely excuse yourself or change the subject. You have the right to protect your feelings.
Find a Support System: Talk to a friend or someone you trust about your feelings. Sometimes, sharing your worries with someone who cares can make you feel better. You can also find a 12 Step meeting to attend. They are everywhere & many offer 24 hour meetings during the holidays like on Thanksgiving, Christmas Day or New Years Day.
Practice Relaxation: Find ways to relax. You could try yoga, meditation, or even listening to calming music. Doing something you enjoy can help you unwind.
Have Fun Distractions: Go for a walk outside or to the store shopping or just looking around. This can be a great way to take your mind off any stress. Don’t be afraid to take a break if you need one.
Remember, it’s okay to feel anxious or upset during the holidays, especially when you’re around difficult family members. But with these tips, you can reduce your anxiety and stay strong. The holidays should be a time for joy and love, and by taking care of yourself, you can make sure that’s what you experience.
It’s ok to not feel ok during the pandemic. Depression, anxiety & panic may feel overwhelming but there are ways to help cope with those feelings.
Ugh….. COVID-19….. so over it already & the feelings of depression, anxiety and panic at times. If you are anywhere in the world reading this, I know you know what I’m talking about. Here in Clearwater, Florida, I am in week 3 of self-isolating or actually now under a stay at home order.
After speaking to many clients during counseling sessions as well as my own feelings, I understand the feelings of more depression, more anxiety and downright panic feelings at times when we go outside or to the grocery store as the pandemic continues to go on.
I would like to share some tips that may help with coping with those feelings.
Increased Depressed Thoughts
Remind yourself this pandemic will end at some point & it’s ok to not be ok right now. But at the end of the day, they (governments) are working on it.
Find 3 things you are grateful for right now as you are reading this post
Get re-connected to hobbies you used to enjoy
Limit your exposure to the media
Avoid alcohol. Drinking alcohol (a depressant) will make you feel more depressed
Increased Anxious Thoughts
Try mediation and focusing on your breath – not the news, not the anxious thoughts but only relaxing your body as much as you can and becoming completely aware of your breath. If other thoughts come in, that’s ok but catch them & redirect yourself just back to relaxing your actual body & focusing on your breath.
Brush your dog or cat – spending time with a pet has a calming effect on a person (you know I’m right – I’m a doggie person) plus your pet will love the attention you are giving him or her
Remind yourself that feelings are not facts – stop getting stuck in the “what if” thoughts. These are cognitive distortions or thinking errors
Increased Paranoid/Panic Thoughts
Remind yourself that panic thoughts are born out of overthinking (another cognitive distortion/thinking error)
Try to lay down & do some deep breathing repeating “I am safe here. I am ok here. This will end.”
Limit your exposure to the media. Remember panic breeds panic. Watching news story after news story about how many people have died from the virus in your area or people fighting over supplies like toilet paper or food will create an uncertainty in you which will make you feel more panicked.
These are some simple tips that may help you cope with feelings that are overwhelming like depression and anxiety. However, remember that there is always someone to talk to even if you feel you cannot talk to your family.
Counselors all over the country and the world for that matter are available and ready to help. They may not be in the office right now but can do online counseling. I’ve found it just as effective as in the office. So you may want to consider that.
Also most counselors are offering very low session fees during the pandemic so check it out. Go to https://www.psychologytoday.com/us to help you search for one in your area.
Learn tips to minimize risk of relapse to drug and alcohol use during the pandemic
Staying clean and sober during the COVID-19 pandemic. No small feat right? It doesn’t have to be a major struggle. Let me provide a bit of guidance that may help you to stop and think prior to making bad choices during this uber stressful event.
Stress and anxiety and even panic (we’ve all seen the Facebook videos of people fighting over toilet paper) are at the highest right now due to all this uncertainty, no work, limited supplies and a bunch of changes during the pandemic.
Whether your new to recovery or have a few years under your belt, let me say it can still be a challenge to stay clean and sober, but it doesn’t have to be super difficult. Most relapses are due to some type of stress without an effective coping system in place.
Since we can’t change or control what is happening right now in the world, I want to help you work on learning how to identify healthy ways to cope with the added stress the pandemic can bring and most importantly how to stay clean and sober during this time.
Stressors during this pandemic that can cause you to relapse & ways to avoid that and stay clean and sober
Financial Stress/Job Insecurity
Focus on what you can change right now
Call utility companies/credit card/loan companies to advise them of your difficulties
Consider if a career change is right for you, if so research ways to do so
Remind yourself when one door closes another one opens
Isolation/Quarantine/Social Distancing
Self-care is a must (eat right, rest, learn something today or do something you enjoy)
Limit exposure to the media (just get the basics each day)
Consider attending an online or telephone 12 step meeting
Lack of Supplies
Identify the things you do have on hand & make it work
Create a menu that will work with the food in your home
Locate local food banks/churches that are providing food assistance (many are doing drive up)
Being around Family 24/7
Take a break, nap, listen to guided meditation to help calm you
Loosen the rules (let the kids watch tv, play video games, help them bake cookies etc…)
Remind yourself this is not permanent. (The government is working on fixing the situation right now)
Fear for the Future
This situation is out of your control. Stop focusing/obsessively thinking about the future. Stay in the present moment & do what you can do now, which is remain calm.
Remind yourself the situation is being worked on as you read this
Take it one day at a time, one moment at a time
This is a horrible, scary situation for everyone in the world, but you know what we can and do recover from addiction and from pandemics. We are resilient that way.
One final note, remind yourself if you get stuck in a negative mindset in which the problems feel overwhelming and that a drink or a pill or a snort of something will help numb the worry, it doesn’t.
The worry will be there when you are not high or drunk. At that point you can add a topping of shame for the relapse on top of all the anxiety. Shame and recovery do not work well together so try to avoid relapse which you can.
Remember friends, recovery is a lifestyle and mindset change. It’s a journey and unfortunately this journey involves the COVID-19 but when we take it one day at a time and one moment at a time, we can and will prevail.
If you find yourself struggling please reach out and click the link to schedule your free 15 min recovery strategy call. There is no reason for you to struggle alone.
Toxic relationships can be found everywhere in daily life…at the office and unfortunately sometimes in our homes. Most of the time these type of people ruin our mood and day.
Toxic by its very definition means poisonous. Since I assume you are smart enough not to just have a cup of poison with your breakfast since you are here reading this blog post why would it be ok to be around a “friend” or family member who is toxic for your mind?
According to a survey conducted by Today.com and Self magazine of 22,000 people, 1 in 3 people had a toxic friend or toxic relationships in their life¹. Whoa now that is a lot of people struggling with unhealthy relationships. Being around toxic people increases feelings of depression, anxiety and emotional exhaustion.
In this post, I would like to discuss how to spot these toxic people so you can identify them in your own life and then how to avoid them or limit your exposure to them so you can improve your mood.
Toxic people or toxic relationships look like this:
The toxic person is always talking about themselves and their latest drama
The unhealthy person is always the victim of something/the ultimate pessimist
Toxic people are manipulative and judgmental
They are inconsistent, disrespectful and embarrassing at times
They never apologize for their actions (it’s always someone else’s fault)
An unhealthy person will make you feel like defending yourself
They are exhausting to be around (when you leave them you are extremely mentally over it)
Toxic people are not caring and selfish.
They lack empathy.
Here’s a great infographic I found of the various types of toxic people which I must say is spot on. Don’t you think so as well.
Look at your own life and I’m pretty sure you can come up with a name or 2 of people in your life that may not be very healthy to be around. The problem also can be compounded if these toxic people are family members.
I’m a counselor and as for myself I have never met a totally functional family. To be honest, all families even my own have some type of dysfunction. So don’t worry if some of the big offenders are from the family list.
Listen by minimizing how much time you spend with these energy vampires each day, you will feel less depressed, less anxious, better about yourself and more confident. It’s a total win.
So how do you cope with these people that you have identified and what about the ones you can’t totally avoid, what do you do with that?
Set healthy boundaries & limit contact with them
Put your own mental health as the priority & let them go to voicemail
Decide to let go of things outside of your control (other people’s bad behavior for instance)
Trust your intuition (if something seems off with the person then it is)
Create a cheat sheet/list of excuses why you can’t chat with them right now or visit
Work on improving your self esteem & confidence by talking with a counselor
Incorporate more self-care into your week (will increase strength to deal with these types of people)
Once you start making yourself the priority in your own life, you will feel more empowered. Your mood will be less depressed and anxious. You will not find yourself constantly self-medicating the emotional overwhelm with food, drugs, shopping and alcohol. You won’t feel so over it and checked out of your own life. It’s important for your mental health to look at this issue.
Also if you are anxious about losing these folks from your life, let me assure you there are plenty of supportive healthy individuals out there. Setting healthy boundaries is all about finding the healthy people because they will show you respect, love and kindness which is what life is supposed to be about.
So if you should have some toxic people in your life, no worries, we have all been there but it’s about making yourself the priority & find the healthy supportive friends.
Updated 10/24/20: if you would like to help yourself learn how to cope with toxic relationships & build your confidence check out the new Recovery Journey Workbook – Toxic Relationships. It’s a digital download so you get it immediately. Click here to go to the workbook.
This workbook is priced at $7.99 to help people from any budget. Click the here to go to the Toxic Relationship Workbook
If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below. I would love to chat about this.
Telehealth is truly an awesome tool for therapists
Almost a year ago I branched out into telehealth also known as online counseling. I am trained in telehealth, but fear stopped me from pursuing this in my practice.
One afternoon, I was sitting (I remember exactly where I was) doing paperwork and thought “how can you expect your clients to embrace online counseling if you won’t try it?” Yep, counselors have fears too sometimes 😉. Sometimes it’s hard for us to practice what we preach. Yeah, I know silly right? Hey, we are all human.
Anyways back to the fear of online counseling, I decided right then to jump in with both feet and as fear is (irrational thoughts) it was fine. Now I love it and here’s why I encourage any client to try it.
Video I created about telehealth
Why You Should Consider Telehealth or Online Counseling during Pandemic
Telehealth is convenient
I am one of those Amazon Prime people who I’m sure the delivery guy hates my address. As a busy counselor & mom, I love the convenience of Prime. They help my busy life by bringing me things without having to stop at the store.
Now enter telehealth technology, where you don’t have to go to an office to see a doctor or counselor. It’s great for people who don’t have transportation, can’t go to see their therapist because the kids are sick or can’t fit therapy into their busy day to get to the office due to their work schedule. It helps you find a counselor that is right for you and even if the counselor is not in your town.
It’s excellent because it’s totally less stress. I’m in Clearwater, Florida so traffic is always a bear this time of year. No offense, snowbirds but you make it more crowded on the roads. It’s difficult to get anywhere timely. Driving to an appointment can be very stressful and this option takes the stress away. Online counseling makes it easier and quicker to see a therapist or counselor.
Telehealth platforms are user friendly
Hey, I don’t claim to be super techy (ask my kids 😉 they know) but I can honestly say the telehealth platform I use Doxy. Doxy is HIPPA compliant (which means secure & confidential) and soooo super easy to use.
You as the client clicks a link the provider sends you by email. You will enter your first name and click check in. On my end as the provider, I see you in my waiting room. I click your name & start the session connects.
Telehealth can be used anywhere
Aaaaahhhh don’t I wish…..I’m so kidding about online counseling here but this would be completely awesome!!! 😊 😊 😊
Typically, I meet my clients in my office or my home office. My home office for evening sessions. I use headphones which block out the potential of conversations being overheard that way the session is kept secured.
It is recommended my clients sit in a quiet space in their home. Finding a space where they will not be disturbed for the hour is ideal.
Therapy is about being comfortable and safe. You are talking about some important topics to you that are causing you feelings of depression and anxiety. Therefore, I recommend you find a quiet place where you can be more focused and not disturbed or distracted.
To wrap up this post which I could go on about the benefits of telehealth. If you haven’t tried it, I would encourage you to strongly consider it. It really is convenient, user friendly and you honestly can be anywhere.
This type of platform helps open more availability for providers to help others. Sessions can occur outside of the 9 am to 5 pm office spots. Telehealth has helped me be able to help more clients after hours and on the weekends which is wonderful.
If you have any questions about telehealth please feel free to comment below and I will gladly answer them for you. You can also email me your questions at cdathey9@gmail.com If you are ready to give online counseling a try click this link to schedule a session
So as a counselor I like to facilitate mental health and recovery group therapy and I find there are some people that are intimidated by group settings.
I wanted to write this post to alleviate some of that anxiety about group therapy and why I highly recommend people participate in them.
1) You ARE NOT Being Judged
Thanks RDJ lol…
Many times people are reluctant to attend groups because they are fearful or anxious of what others may think of them and their situation. It’s ok you will not be judged.
Let me assure you, counselors facilitating groups are not judging you and neither are the people that attend. If you are attending a depression group, most people there will also be struggling with that. Addiction recovery groups will have people struggling with addiction. If you attend a grief group, guess what there will be others trying to cope with grief.
So don’t sweat it. A group setting is a safe, awesome place to share. The people there are like you and going through the same thing or have gone through what you are trying to cope with.
2) It’s a Safe Place of Support
Any group I’ve facilitated, which at this point would be in the upper hundreds or maybe more 😉 are a safe place of support. People are there to learn strategies and skills to apply in their own life.
The group setting is confidential and welcoming. What’s said in group stays in the group. It is not shared outside of the group. So let’s say I see a group member at Walmart I will not say “see you at group.” That’s a huge group no no. It will not happen. That is a requirement of all the groups.
Let me add the only time any group information is disclosed and that would only be by the counselor would be if someone was threatening to harm themselves or others.
3) There should be no more than 10 people in the group
Here’s why I say that anymore than 10 to me feels like a class. Group is not a class or workshop. A support group is generally held weekly, biweekly or monthly. It should be supportive in nature and for that smaller is generally more comfortable and effective.
If you are looking for a group and there are 20 people in it, you will not find the outcomes you are looking for unless the outcomes are to attend a class. Group is not like that.
So that’s my 3 things I would like to share about groups. Groups are awesome, not scary, not judgmental and the bonus ** you meet wonderful new people ** who are sharing a part of your life that is troubling to you. That’s the support part 😊 & they ROCK!!!!
If you are struggling, don’t be scared or anxious, reach out to a group near you. They will help you. You’ll see 😊
If you are in the Tampa Bay area and looking for a group, click this link to book your free 15 min recovery strategy call so I can help you and if I can’t I do have connections that I can refer you to that can.
Ugh…. yes it can feel like a bear if we let it. I have never met a person who does not feel anxious from time to time and sometimes anxiety can be unrelenting if you let it.
I find that I meet many people feel crippled because of it. People that are not enjoying their lives. People that are stuck in their homes. They are calling off work, not going to school and basically spending their days miserable.
Also I like to say anxiety typically goes with depression like peanut butter and jelly. PB & J has always been one of my favs 😊 but when we look at anxiety, depression is typically there also.
People that suffer from those mental health issues many times feel like anxiety is never going to go away which increases feelings of depression. The never-ending anxiety/depression hamster wheel going around and around…. Exhausting.
Tip to Alleviate Anxiety
That is why I decided to share my one awesome tip to alleviate anxiety and will reduce feelings of depression. It may not make it go away entirely or immediately but I can pretty much guarantee with practice this skill will help you manage anxiety so it does not keep you stuck.
Also PSA I am not a psychiatrist nor do I play one on tv so this is helpful advice only and does not replace consulting with your medical or mental health provider.
Most Awesome Anxiety Reducing Tip Ever
Practice the following anxiety reducing tip and feel the freedom
The most effective tip to reduce anxiety IMHO is not Xanax or Klonopin (although these medications have proven to be helpful but I’m not a medication provider and as an addiction counselor can see how these medications can increase one’s dependency on medications – I’m more a natural approach kind of girl.
Plus some of those medications have side effects that can make you tired and who wants that) So I know you are thinking what do I do then?
It basically boils down to control. People are miserable when they try to control things that are outside of their control. Anxiety and depression for that matter can really ramp up when we try to control things that are outside of our circle of control. Also this can increase the risk of any type of relapse.
Circle of Control
So what types of things am I talking about? Other people’s behaviors, words, attitudes as well as circumstances. For example someone is rude to you, the car breaks down, the kids are sick or there are work policies/procedures that you can’t change.
When you sit and think about why you feel anxious and what
is causing it. I can pretty much
guarantee it (the worry or thought about the worry) is outside of your
control.
Ok so what is inside of your circle of control: your thoughts, behaviors, attitudes and that my friend, is the key to reducing or stopping anxiety all together.
Let go of what is outside of your control
Let’s try some examples:
Situation Example: I’m feeling anxious because I feel I am going to be late to a very important meeting. I live in Fl (land of traffic jams & oh so many red lights 😉 ). I am driving in my car and feel my anxiety creeping up in my chest.
So to manage it, I take a deep breath (a breathe in and count to 3, hold the breath for 3 and breathe out and count to 3 type and talk to myself by saying “Ok am I in control of this traffic? Can I jump over cars to get to the meeting quicker? No of course not. So I guess I will listen to my radio and realize I will get there when I get there.” Next time to alleviate any anxiety, I will plan to leave a bit earlier to account for any possible traffic jams.
Other People Example: I’m feeling anxious because when I am around Dan he makes me feel nervous. To challenge this type of anxiety with another person examine your inner thought life. People get anxious around other people when they do not feel confident in themselves.
Some of the negative thoughts I may have for this example “I’m not as good as Dan. I’m not as smart as Dan. “ To correct this thinking, here is a skill that works. Inner thought: “I’m am the best Cindy I can be. Dan puts his pants on the same way I do. He is no better than me so who cares what he thinks about me. I’m just as good as he is.”
When you examine the situation or your thoughts in this manner you take the pressure off which typically causes anxiety to decrease as well as depression. You are letting go of people’s views or situations that are outside of your control.
Letting it go
It’s all about looking at the situation or the other person logically and not emotionally. Logically can you change traffic or someone else’s thoughts…..Nope so let it go. This skill takes practice and you won’t get it all the time but with time you will see you can manage any anxiety easier and it will leave your body & mind quicker without the use of medication.
Love this quote from the Wizard of Oz ( I used to hang it on my fridge for motivation)
So comment below if you’ve tried this strategy for anxiety. How did it help? What did you do? What was the anxiety about? Also if you are struggling with anxiety or have questions about it, please comment below or email me at cdathey9@gmail.com.
Don’t let depression, anxiety and insomnia ruin your night, you can change it
Insomnia is when you find it difficult to sleep. In the middle of the night, I would wake up with insomnia. I was thoroughly exhausted thinking about things that cause me to feel depressed, anxious, anything except peaceful happy things. That doesn’t happen to me much anymore, rarely really and here is why and here is how you can stop it from happening to you.
There is no need to drink yourself to sleep, smoke a blunt or pop a pill to find rest. In other words, sorry Big Pharma or Mr. local Drug Dealer but really there is a better way.
Big Pharma or the local drug dealer wants you to continue to be their customer. Look at the profits in sedatives or benzos alone (45% of the US population use them on a regular basis) and as for weed, 1 in 7 adults smoked weed regularly as of 2017.
Therefore, that’s a huge amount of people for the pharmaceutical companies or local drug dealers and therefore it’s all about profit, which unfortunately there is a lot of profit. This is not even taking into effect the addiction potential of various substances.
In other words I could go on a rant about this for days so keep reading friend there is a natural, easier way to help you below.
End of Rant
I like to think of as the next big thing….. And what is that you ask…..ACCEPTANCE.
I know you’re thinking….. ooook???? I don’t get it. Well let me explain.
Did you know that synonyms of acceptance according to
Webster is “getting, taking and receiving.”
Here’s how you get to take your peace and happiness back & receive a better night’s sleep:
Look at these 10 statements about acceptance and really sit and think about them:
(this is where you take your power back 🙂 )
Accept that sometimes people do or say mean things and it has nothing to do with you it’s all about them
Sometimes people are going to hurt you and those are not your tribe or at the very least the people you want to spend significant time with in your life
Accept that sometimes these unhealthy people need to leave your life
Worrying never solved any problem
Ask yourself if you have been coping with shit in your life in an unhealthy way like drinking, smoking weed or popping a pill
Accept that if you are sad you are ruminating on past events that can never be changed
Accept that if you have anxiety, you are thinking about things outside of your control
Remind yourself that you can take your power back and control your thoughts in a positive way
Accept that you have some great things going on in your life
Accept that you are not a fortune teller, have no crystal ball and cannot predict what your future holds
How peaceful does this sweet little baby look 🙂 & pretty soon that can be you too without insomnia
The Wrap Up
These are some statements I have personally used in the past to let middle of the night worries/sad thoughts go which has helped me get back to sleep and get better rest without the need for anything extra.
Therefore, to be able to sleep better, try this method. Print out these statements and look them over I’m sure some of them apply in your life.
For instance once you sit, read aloud and contemplate these accept statements you will feel more at peace and be able to fall back asleep quicker and without drugs or alcohol .
Negative mindset, negative thoughts, fears, low self-esteem…. They all suck and have been clinically proven to increase feelings of depression, anxiety, anger, irritability and the so much more negative stuff. Totally and completely draining and depressing.
Are you over it? Those thoughts that your life can’t change for the better and be peaceful, happy and well just satisfying.
Well if you are…. I decided to dedicate a blog post as a sort of round up of my 5 most popular blog posts (by page views) that help you change the negative stuff into more positive stuff which in turns makes one truly happier 😊 (I’ve tried these and they work for me so my wish is they work for you too )
So those are the top 5 blog posts I have written about how to change negative mindsets to pursue a peaceful life which in turn will cause negative feelings to go away and the positive ones will enter. These posts will help you reduce feelings of depression and anxiety
So leave a comment below about which is your fav or how you go about changing a negative mindset into a positive one? Sooooo till next time…………
When I meet with client’s that are early in recovery from
substance abuse or mental health issues, the main topic or goal that they
typically want help with is finding happiness.
Tall order, right? Well yes, but really not as elusive as you might think. Happiness can be achieved, and I wouldn’t be
saying that if I didn’t get there myself.
Happiness which is defined by Webster as the “state of well-being and contentment” can feel overwhelmingly unachievable to some because they feel so miserable, sad, overwhelmed, stressed out and well, just plain overwhelmed in their life presently. There are ways you can find true contented happiness and it really isn’t that difficult to do but it does take some work on your part.
Stay in the Moment
The only part of your life that you can truly change is this present moment. You cannot change the past and you really can’t predict the future, not totally anyways. It all depends on what you are doing now in the present moment.
A way to find contentment is being content in the present moment. Will you ever feel bad? Of course, you will but you are truly the only one who can change that reality as you are the only one who can elicit changes in your life or reality as you perceive it.
For example, if I am having a bad day, you know the type because we all have them from time to time in which you really want a do-over because everything that can go wrong has gone wrong, embrace it, laugh it off and push through it.
Guess what? In 24 hours that day will have gone by and you will be in the next day – essentially your do-over. So during the rough day, take a deep breath and persevere. It will get better but you have to get your mindset that way.
Be OK with Being by Yourself
Many people are afraid of being alone. I am talking about the people who are not in a
relationship or perhaps the empty nesters where the kids are out of the house
on their own. Many people I speak with do
not like being by themselves which can make someone feel more depressed, more
apt to relapse (mentally or physically) and that’s not good.
People are fearful of being by themselves because they are
bored or lonely. Embrace your alone
time. Get reconnected with yourself
during this period because this is only a period and apt to change. Do things that you enjoy or used to enjoy by
yourself. Journal about your
feelings. If you don’t like being alone,
google clubs or groups in your area that have get-togethers that interest you
and then attend one.
Alone time is a gift because it lets you de-stress, have some down time from interactions with others that can negatively effect your mood. Ever be around toxic people that drag down your mood? Yes, I have and to be honest I’d rather be alone napping or reading a great book or something than being with the negative people who mentally drain me.
Look for the Positives Even in the Negatives
So remember for every positive there is a negative and in turn every negative has a positive if you look for it. Went through a bad relationship break-up? I’m sure if you look at the relationship as a whole there were some good times and some bad times.
Find the lesson in that negative, there is one. It could be you did not stand up for yourself and were manipulated. It could be just not a good fit but you were lonely and jumped into it. Whatever the lesson figure it out so it doesn’t get repeated and form more negative stress in your life.
Life is great at repeating the lesson if it is not
learned. So while you are having that
alone time, identify what are the lessons?
What are the positive takeaways from the experience? They are there. Commit to yourself that you will not repeat
the lessons and check those off the list of learned.
If you find you try these and nothing gets better, you may want to seek out counseling to help you with this. But as you know, Rome wasn’t built in a day so give them a real chance to work. You will see positive changes and I am only saying that as one previous negative thinker who was able to change my view to embrace a state of well being and contentment aka happiness. I can honestly say that it took some work to overcome past darkness but it can be done with concentrated effort.
