Addiction: Recognizing the Early Signs

Addiction is a very sneaky brain disease.  It corrupts the mind over time for the person who is deep in the throes of whatever may be the addiction.  It starts to feel like “the normal” when the bystanders/family/friends just see the chaos but actually it can become their new normal too.  Addicted people will try to hide it, try to function during it, lie about it, steal for it and hurt themselves for it. 

Figuring out if your loved one has an addiction

So you may ask how do I know if someone I love has early signs or red flags of behavior or mindsets that increase the chance of an addiction????  And unfortunately if you are questioning or reading about whether they are or not, there is already some suspicions about the problem. 

Also this article is geared towards adults with addiction and not teens or juveniles.  The early signs are pretty much the same but the way you respond will be a bit different.  I will add a second article about how to cope with teen addicts.

Here’s a quick list of early signs of possible addiction in an adult I’ve compiled to help you out.

Early Signs of Addiction

• A person appears to be sneaky or it feels like the story that they are telling you just doesn’t add up.  Trust your gut!  When you feel something isn’t right, unfortunately it probably isn’t.

• You start missing money or the person is spending a lot of money but has nothing to show for it.  Things of value start disappearing (probably down at the local pawn shop)

• The person starts to have more days where they are using the substance than sober/clean days.  Now if it’s a compulsive behavior like gambling, gaming or spending, look at how much time or money they are spending on it.

• They start justifying their behavior.  Some examples, people will say are like “I’m careful when I drink and drive and won’t get another DUI” or “It’s ok I won’t be drug tested this week at probation”. So doesn’t make sense, right??? You’re right it won’t.

• Not following through with responsibilities.  Is the person missing a lot of school or work?  Do they appear sick (hungover or dope sick) much of the time?  Are they lethargic and unmotivated?

So I see some familiar signs, now what????

Now I know it is frightening to see signs that look familiar and it may ring true for a loved one but most importantly, stay calm.  Addiction is a tough disease on the person who is addicted but also the family. 

The main take away point I want to make to any family member/loved one reading this is that for an addict to stop, they have to want to change.   I know you want them to change but if they don’t want to it means they are not there yet.  Hopefully they get there but you cannot force recovery.  It is a personal choice. 

So here are a few tips to help you as a loved one:

• Don’t enable their behavior.  By that I mean don’t “loan” them money because seriously you’re not getting that back.  Don’t call their PO, pay their bills or call out of work for them.  Make them take some responsibility for their choices.  You can love them of course but you must incorporate a semi “tough love” stance and let them basically sink or swim and hopefully at some point they will want to change.  It’s ok to love someone from afar and set healthy boundaries. 

• Let go of control.  There is only so much that you can do about this with regards to an adult.  For a successful recovery, it is a personal journey.  Therefore, the person needs to determine that they want to be clean, sober, productive and motivated.  Think this way, have you ever changed when someone told you to change?  No if anything, I know in my own life it caused me to rebel against whatever it may be. 

• Go see a therapist or counselor.  Dealing with an addiction in the family is not for the faint of heart.  It’s chaos that changes day to day and sometimes minute to minute.  I truly believe everyone has a part to play in an addiction in a family (the addict and you, yes you.)  Now if you are saying “well, I don’t buy the drugs or swipe the credit card”, no you don’t but addicts are using their addiction to hide from something.  Addiction is an ineffective band aid of sorts.  It is covering a wound or their viewpoint of the wound.  A therapist or counselor can assist you unbiasedly with support, identifying your role in all of this and help you create strategies to help maintain your sanity as well as cope with what is going on in the home. 

So to wrap up, if you have identified a loved one may have an issue, remember it is outside of your control.  However, what is inside of your control is how you react.  Stop enabling or feeding the addiction, let go of trying to control the addict and finally, go see a therapist for yourself. 

Need more help

Also if you have any questions or need guidance, please do not hesitate to reach out to me and click the link to book your free 15 min recovery strategy call.  If I can’t answer you’re question, I know I can help guide you to the person/agency that does.

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