Tips to Staying Strong: Thanksgiving and Sobriety with a Tricky Family
Thanksgiving can be a special time to gather with family, but it can also be tough, especially when dealing with a family that feels a bit challenging. If you’re working on staying sober and finding it hard with a dysfunctional family during this time, you’re not alone. Here are some helpful tips and thoughts to help you stay strong and positive during Thanksgiving.
Create Your Support Squad
It’s super important to have people you trust around you during tough times. Talk to a family member or a friend who understands your situation and can support you during Thanksgiving. Having someone there for you can make a big difference.
Have a Game Plan
Before heading into the family gathering, make a plan. Think about what you’ll say if someone offers you a drink or pressures you. Having a plan in mind can help you feel more confident and prepared.
Focus on Non-Alcoholic Treats
Thanksgiving is all about the food! Fill up your plate with delicious non-alcoholic drinks and snacks. Treat yourself to some yummy mocktails or fancy sodas. When your hands are occupied with tasty treats, it’s easier to say no to alcohol.
Take Breaks When Needed
If things start feeling overwhelming, it’s totally okay to take a breather. Find a quiet spot or take a short walk to clear your mind and relax. Sometimes a few moments alone can make a big difference.
Create New Traditions
Start a new tradition that doesn’t involve alcohol. Maybe it’s playing board games, watching a favorite movie, or taking a family walk. Creating new memories without alcohol can be refreshing and fun!
Stay Positive and Kind to Yourself
Remember, you’re doing an amazing thing by staying sober. Be proud of yourself and don’t be too hard on yourself if things get tough. You’re taking care of yourself, and that’s something to celebrate.
Thanksgiving can be a mixed bag of emotions, especially with a dysfunctional family, but staying sober is an incredible achievement. Surround yourself with support, have a plan, and focus on enjoying the positive moments. You’ve got this!
There are tips below to Beat Holiday Anxiety & Stay Sober When Around Toxic Family Members
The holiday season is meant to be a time of happiness, love, and laughter. But what if you have a tough time when you’re around family members who make you feel anxious or unhappy? Don’t worry – you can learn how to manage your anxiety and stay strong during the holidays. Here are some simple tips to help you enjoy the season without feeling overwhelmed.
Take Deep Breaths: When you start to feel anxious, remember to take slow, deep breaths. This can help you calm down and think more clearly. Try counting to four as you breathe in, and then count to four as you breathe out.
Stay Positive: Focus on the good things about the holidays. It could be the delicious food, the pretty decorations, or the joy of gift-giving. Try to find something positive to think about, even when you’re around tough family members.
Set Boundaries: It’s important to know your limits. If a conversation is making you uncomfortable, politely excuse yourself or change the subject. You have the right to protect your feelings.
Find a Support System: Talk to a friend or someone you trust about your feelings. Sometimes, sharing your worries with someone who cares can make you feel better. You can also find a 12 Step meeting to attend. They are everywhere & many offer 24 hour meetings during the holidays like on Thanksgiving, Christmas Day or New Years Day.
Practice Relaxation: Find ways to relax. You could try yoga, meditation, or even listening to calming music. Doing something you enjoy can help you unwind.
Have Fun Distractions: Go for a walk outside or to the store shopping or just looking around. This can be a great way to take your mind off any stress. Don’t be afraid to take a break if you need one.
Remember, it’s okay to feel anxious or upset during the holidays, especially when you’re around difficult family members. But with these tips, you can reduce your anxiety and stay strong. The holidays should be a time for joy and love, and by taking care of yourself, you can make sure that’s what you experience.
The new shop will have all things recovery from substance abuse, depression, anxiety codependency & toxic relationships.
I am so excited to share about the new Positive Directions Recovery Shop. I created this shop on Etsy to help people who may be struggling in recovery and want a way to independently work on themselves in between sessions or even if they are not in counseling presently.
I created Recovery Journey Workbooks that are instant digital downloads. I priced them within everyone’s price range so if you cannot afford therapy or do not have insurance, you’ll still be able to work on your recovery.
The Recovery Journey Workbooks are an easy to read format with worksheets to help you learn the skills to put into place to free yourself from negative mindsets that can increase your risk of relapse. Plus each workbook has lots of fun bonuses as well (but I’m not going to spoil the surprise for you but they are awesome) I just uploaded another workbook last night which is new and about learning to cope with Toxic Relationships.
Other fun finds are some coffee mugs I created. Who doesn’t love a great coffee mug? I know I do. Here’s my favorite 🙂
Being a Sober Mom is My Superpower (my fav)
So check out the shop by clicking the button below.
Family counseling can help you reduce and stop the arguing and conflicts.
Covid has been around for a few months now with most families spending more time together. Can you say we have entered family conflict zone, yep we have.
Stress within the family has increased during this crisis which at times can cause conflicts. These arguments arise due to health concerns, financial worry, substance use increase (alcohol sales are up 234%) as well as possibly adding in job layoffs/workplace instability.
When all of these things combine within the family, it’s not a pretty picture. Effective communication breaks down, irritability increases and arguments start.
This article will give you some tips on how to reduce the likelihood of arguments and conflicts in the family as it appears that we may be spending a lot more time together in the upcoming months.
5 Tips to Reduce Arguments
Stop saying or screaming hurtful things to your loved one
When in the heat of an argument, many times people say ugly, hurtful comments. Remember the saying “hurt people, hurt people.”
When you feel hurt by something, it is best to calm yourself down first before continuing any type of discussion. Plus it is never good to hurt your loved one, ever & I know you agree.
2. Walk Away (it’s not just for kids)
We tell kids when they are angry to walk away from a fight, yet as adults we seldom do. If you find yourself getting very aggravated, walk away to calm down.
Remember to set a boundary with the other party like “I need to go calm down by myself for a few minutes before we continue this discussion. I don’t want to say something that I don’t mean.” Then take yourself out of the picture.
3. Get Calm, Cool & Collected
So before you re-engage in the conversation, you have to calm yourself down. Try to take a few deep breaths and remember we all view and cope with stress differently. Maybe this argument started for a different reason altogether.
Ever have a stupid argument at home about something like taking out the trash or putting an empty container back in the fridge, when really the main problem was something else. Yep, we all have.
But here’s a bonus about this tip as you are away from the argument trying to calm down so is the other party which gives them time to calm themselves down as well.
4. Be an Active Listener
When you are in an argument, listen to the other party. Do not sit there and think of your response because when you do that you are not listening to them at all.
Remember this is a loved one or family member who ultimately you do not want to hurt. Listen to them. They are trying to explain to you what their view of the issue is.
5. Lower Your Volume
So I want you to think back to when you were a teen. Do you remember ever being screamed at by your parents or a teacher? If you do, I bet you didn’t listen once the screaming or volume got turned up. You tuned out.
So is screaming or yelling effective in getting your point of view across to someone else. Nope not in the slightest. I guarantee the other person has tuned out and are not hearing you. Screaming or yelling will not solve any problem, in fact it escalates it.
So that was 5 tips you can use to help cope & hopefully de-escalate family conflict. Remember we are all in this together and we are all stressed out to the max.
If you find you need help with this, book your family counseling session to below to get started.
Still unsure, counseling will help. Click the link above & you can schedule a free 20 min session with me to discuss the next step in getting your family back on track and stop family dysfunction junction in its tracks.
Toxic relationships can be found everywhere in daily life…at the office and unfortunately sometimes in our homes. Most of the time these type of people ruin our mood and day.
Toxic by its very definition means poisonous. Since I assume you are smart enough not to just have a cup of poison with your breakfast since you are here reading this blog post why would it be ok to be around a “friend” or family member who is toxic for your mind?
According to a survey conducted by Today.com and Self magazine of 22,000 people, 1 in 3 people had a toxic friend or toxic relationships in their life¹. Whoa now that is a lot of people struggling with unhealthy relationships. Being around toxic people increases feelings of depression, anxiety and emotional exhaustion.
In this post, I would like to discuss how to spot these toxic people so you can identify them in your own life and then how to avoid them or limit your exposure to them so you can improve your mood.
Toxic people or toxic relationships look like this:
The toxic person is always talking about themselves and their latest drama
The unhealthy person is always the victim of something/the ultimate pessimist
Toxic people are manipulative and judgmental
They are inconsistent, disrespectful and embarrassing at times
They never apologize for their actions (it’s always someone else’s fault)
An unhealthy person will make you feel like defending yourself
They are exhausting to be around (when you leave them you are extremely mentally over it)
Toxic people are not caring and selfish.
They lack empathy.
Here’s a great infographic I found of the various types of toxic people which I must say is spot on. Don’t you think so as well.
Look at your own life and I’m pretty sure you can come up with a name or 2 of people in your life that may not be very healthy to be around. The problem also can be compounded if these toxic people are family members.
I’m a counselor and as for myself I have never met a totally functional family. To be honest, all families even my own have some type of dysfunction. So don’t worry if some of the big offenders are from the family list.
Listen by minimizing how much time you spend with these energy vampires each day, you will feel less depressed, less anxious, better about yourself and more confident. It’s a total win.
So how do you cope with these people that you have identified and what about the ones you can’t totally avoid, what do you do with that?
Set healthy boundaries & limit contact with them
Put your own mental health as the priority & let them go to voicemail
Decide to let go of things outside of your control (other people’s bad behavior for instance)
Trust your intuition (if something seems off with the person then it is)
Create a cheat sheet/list of excuses why you can’t chat with them right now or visit
Work on improving your self esteem & confidence by talking with a counselor
Incorporate more self-care into your week (will increase strength to deal with these types of people)
Once you start making yourself the priority in your own life, you will feel more empowered. Your mood will be less depressed and anxious. You will not find yourself constantly self-medicating the emotional overwhelm with food, drugs, shopping and alcohol. You won’t feel so over it and checked out of your own life. It’s important for your mental health to look at this issue.
Also if you are anxious about losing these folks from your life, let me assure you there are plenty of supportive healthy individuals out there. Setting healthy boundaries is all about finding the healthy people because they will show you respect, love and kindness which is what life is supposed to be about.
So if you should have some toxic people in your life, no worries, we have all been there but it’s about making yourself the priority & find the healthy supportive friends.
Updated 10/24/20: if you would like to help yourself learn how to cope with toxic relationships & build your confidence check out the new Recovery Journey Workbook – Toxic Relationships. It’s a digital download so you get it immediately. Click here to go to the workbook.
This workbook is priced at $7.99 to help people from any budget. Click the here to go to the Toxic Relationship Workbook
If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below. I would love to chat about this.
Telehealth is truly an awesome tool for therapists
Almost a year ago I branched out into telehealth also known as online counseling. I am trained in telehealth, but fear stopped me from pursuing this in my practice.
One afternoon, I was sitting (I remember exactly where I was) doing paperwork and thought “how can you expect your clients to embrace online counseling if you won’t try it?” Yep, counselors have fears too sometimes 😉. Sometimes it’s hard for us to practice what we preach. Yeah, I know silly right? Hey, we are all human.
Anyways back to the fear of online counseling, I decided right then to jump in with both feet and as fear is (irrational thoughts) it was fine. Now I love it and here’s why I encourage any client to try it.
Video I created about telehealth
Why You Should Consider Telehealth or Online Counseling during Pandemic
Telehealth is convenient
I am one of those Amazon Prime people who I’m sure the delivery guy hates my address. As a busy counselor & mom, I love the convenience of Prime. They help my busy life by bringing me things without having to stop at the store.
Now enter telehealth technology, where you don’t have to go to an office to see a doctor or counselor. It’s great for people who don’t have transportation, can’t go to see their therapist because the kids are sick or can’t fit therapy into their busy day to get to the office due to their work schedule. It helps you find a counselor that is right for you and even if the counselor is not in your town.
It’s excellent because it’s totally less stress. I’m in Clearwater, Florida so traffic is always a bear this time of year. No offense, snowbirds but you make it more crowded on the roads. It’s difficult to get anywhere timely. Driving to an appointment can be very stressful and this option takes the stress away. Online counseling makes it easier and quicker to see a therapist or counselor.
Telehealth platforms are user friendly
Hey, I don’t claim to be super techy (ask my kids 😉 they know) but I can honestly say the telehealth platform I use Doxy. Doxy is HIPPA compliant (which means secure & confidential) and soooo super easy to use.
You as the client clicks a link the provider sends you by email. You will enter your first name and click check in. On my end as the provider, I see you in my waiting room. I click your name & start the session connects.
Telehealth can be used anywhere
Aaaaahhhh don’t I wish…..I’m so kidding about online counseling here but this would be completely awesome!!! 😊 😊 😊
Typically, I meet my clients in my office or my home office. My home office for evening sessions. I use headphones which block out the potential of conversations being overheard that way the session is kept secured.
It is recommended my clients sit in a quiet space in their home. Finding a space where they will not be disturbed for the hour is ideal.
Therapy is about being comfortable and safe. You are talking about some important topics to you that are causing you feelings of depression and anxiety. Therefore, I recommend you find a quiet place where you can be more focused and not disturbed or distracted.
To wrap up this post which I could go on about the benefits of telehealth. If you haven’t tried it, I would encourage you to strongly consider it. It really is convenient, user friendly and you honestly can be anywhere.
This type of platform helps open more availability for providers to help others. Sessions can occur outside of the 9 am to 5 pm office spots. Telehealth has helped me be able to help more clients after hours and on the weekends which is wonderful.
If you have any questions about telehealth please feel free to comment below and I will gladly answer them for you. You can also email me your questions at cdathey9@gmail.com If you are ready to give online counseling a try click this link to schedule a session
Unhealthy boundaries can increase feelings of depression, anxiety and relapses.
When people don’t set boundaries well with others, it becomes glaringly evident. They start feeling more depressed, miserable and anxious. They feel their life is filled with constant drama & chaos. Situations feel well, suffocating. Typically life is full of chaos because others are not respecting any boundaries which always causes problems and especially with mood.
Unhealthy boundary signs
If this article has found you are feeling like life sucked any fun or enjoyment out of your day, it may be because of other’s bad behaviors. It becomes evident that healthy boundaries are not being put into place.
What is a boundary
First, let’s talk about what is a boundary and why should you set them. The Webster definition of boundary is sort of complicated. There are different forms of the definition like an actual fence and the type we are going to discuss is the “unofficial rules about what should not be done; limits that define acceptable behavior.”
So healthy boundaries are being able to define acceptable behavior or conduct. Let’s talk about how you can tell if you need better boundaries in your life and then how you can start to change that.
You probably need better boundaries in your life if you feel like:
Relationships with others are exhausting & pretty dramatic
Making decisions is really, really hard for you
If you feel like you don’t feel respected, valued or heard
You worry about what other people think
You feel guilty a lot & even over little things
The benefits of setting boundaries in your life are awesome. You will start to feel better about yourself and your situation. You will have more energy. No more feeling completely drained emotionally & physically after dealing with toxic people. They are energy vampires. You will feel more independent and strong. Total win-win here.
Benefits of setting healthy boundaries are feeling better about yourself
Tips to begin to address changing and setting healthy boundaries in your life
Talking to a counselor may help you discover why you have been accepting bad behaviors from others & where this began (hint: typically, in childhood)
Sitting by yourself identifying core values & beliefs
(example: treat others how you want to be treated)
Create a journal list of 5 non-negotiable standards of behavior that you will & will not accept from others
Work on feeling more confident and building your self-esteem
BTW as you start putting healthy boundaries or these standards of conduct that you will accept into your life into place, be prepared. The toxic, unhealthy people’s behaviors will get worse before it gets better and they will act out because they are not getting their way. Typically by manipulating, bullying or intimidating you. Think of these behaviors as an adult size temper tantrum because that is what it is.
It’s perfectly ok to stick with your boundaries, your stress will actually decrease. The toxic person is being forced to comply with your boundaries in order to interact with you. Guess what and if they don’t oh well- they will exit your life. Remember you are making them respect you and your boundaries. It’s so truly empowering!
For some help with this
As you can tell, most of the tips to start changing the situation will need some help from a counselor but you know what at least you can identify if you do in fact have an issue with healthy boundary setting and that’s a great start.
If you are still unsure if you have a problem with boundaries, please feel free to reach out to me at (727) 815-6017 or check out book a session if you would like to talk about your situation in a session. I can help you figure out if this is a problem in your life and suggest the next step for you to start to change this.
Surviving another dysfunctional family holiday like Thanksgiving
Another dysfunctional family holiday. I know (enter huge sigh) ….everyone loves the turkey, stuffing & pumpkin pie 😊 but how about negative family comments, the jealousy, the friendly sibling rivalry which is all but not friendly? Yeah I didn’t think very stress-free especially if you are new to recovery. This can cause a huge relapse risk for you if not planned in advance.
Also don’t feel bad if you are checking this out, you know why according to John Bradshaw, family systems therapy advocate, states 97% of all families have some type of dysfunction.
Yep 😉 about right
Yep, yours, mine and the other guys so no worries that you are alone right 😉 So here are some quick tips to help you manage through this day.
Create a quick escape plan
Instead of falling prey to a trigger that could start a relapse, figure out a quick escape plan. Examples of a plan could be: you will be the runner to the store for more ice or butter or rolls, whatever just to go out to the local 7-11 & get a breather. They’ll be open.
I’m not one for lying but sometimes a little white lie is necessary if it is going to keep you clean and sober. So a few more examples may be getting some type of awful migraine & need to go lay down for a bit or even having to run back home because of the dog.
It’s really important to put yourself first in this area because most people relapse during or after a holiday with their family.
Here’s why…. old stuff gets dragged back up, comments are said that are meant to be hurtful, arguing happens or someone else gets drunk and then it starts to look like the Jerry Springer show on steroids.
You can manage this by simply planning. If you already know so & so gets drunk at every family get together, then you know it will probably happen this year so create a plan for that.
Stay Away from Hot Topics
Not the store, I mean politics and religion. Nothing can start a family argument quicker
than those 2 topics. I grew up in a
household where both political parties were represented and sometimes not in a
good way.
My best advice stay away from these conversations. If it comes up, it is perfectly ok to excuse yourself from the table or leave the room until it settles down.
It is perfectly ok for you to set a healthy boundary and try to change the conversation to another topic. For example, you can say, “I don’t feel comfortable discussing this anymore, let’s change the subject.”
Go to a Meeting
If the situation is too high risk for you, in which being around the fighting, the drama, “I’m just trying to be helpful” but not really comments are too much, google a meeting.
There is a reason that the 12 step clubs offer 24 hour meetings around these big holidays because most people with substance abuse issues have dysfunctional families.
So the take away is if you feel like going to a meeting, go to a meeting. The great part is you will not be alone, you will be around others that needed a break from the drama and it will help you put your recovery back into perspective.
Final thoughts are if you create a plan for your upcoming dysfunctional family holiday or at the very least think about how you are going to handle situations that you know are going to come up, you will be less likely to relapse and more likely to enjoy at least part of the yummy meal.
If you would like to reach out to me about this, please feel free to do so I offer a free phone consultation and can help you create a quick strategy to help you stay clean and sober during this holiday. So give me a call (727)815-6017 & let’s talk about it or you can fill out this form & I will get a hold of you. Happy Thanksgiving!!!
I work with people who suffer from being addicted all sorts of things and not just drugs and alcohol. Addictions can come in the form of negative thinking, shopping too much, gambling, gaming, toxic relationships, any type of behavior that is over the top in a compulsive way.
If you are reading this, chances are you have a loved one, family member or friend who has an addiction or at the very least you suspect they are addicted to drugs or alcohol. In my work, I have noticed common misconceptions families are unaware of when it comes to addiction, which is a complicated disease that I would like to discuss on behalf of your addict or alcoholic.
They did not choose to be addicted to anything
I have never met a young child who listed a career/life goal of becoming a drug addict, alcoholic, gambler, compulsive shopper or parolee. Addiction is a brain disease not a moral failing.
Use of drugs and alcohol or even compulsions change the brain. There is tons of research and findings that prove this. If you want to learn about it, do a simple google search. There are tons of research studies. Addiction is now characterized as a brain disease and not a personal choice.
Stopping is actually quite terrifying to them
Your loved one uses drugs to “escape” their feelings. It’s ineffective of course and destructive but they have not learned healthy coping strategies for previous trauma, dysfunctional family systems or other mental health issues to put into place. Therapy can be helpful for some once the medical issues are stabilized.
Your nagging, bitching, eyerolls, sarcasm will not stop this disease.
Many addicts and alcoholics say their families and friends just don’t get it. They don’t listen and this causes an addiction to get worse. The “helpful” comments are not helpful. They increase the thoughts of self-loathing and shame.
Stop the comments/humiliation, use healthy communication or distraction to help an addict see there is a healthy way to do life. Right now, they understand that drugs/alcohol are not the healthy way, but they are lost. Haven’t you ever felt lost at some point in your life? Unsure where to go? If you answer no, you are not being truthful to yourself. We all have felt that way at some point.
They don’t like themselves
The shame of having an addiction is huge and it causes many people a lot of pain. Addicts are in a lot of emotional pain. Pain from trauma, pain from not feeling worthy, pain that they can’t stop and the list goes on. How can you help them? By showing them unconditional love, not enabling love. So when they ask for money, say no, set healthy boundaries for you and them.
You cannot dictate their rock bottom.
There is a personal growth component to recovery. If a family member keeps posting bail or helping an addict out in some way, it can alleviate the short-term pain but there will be no long-term gain. The behavior will continue.
Many say there is a rock bottom. I believe there is to some degree but it’s a personal journey and that person must discover that for themselves. Family & friends can’t “help” a person get to their rock bottom any faster than they get there. It’s frustrating and worrisome I get it. Addiction is a war on the mind, body & soul and unfortunately, we cannot stop it. The addict/alcoholic must stop it.
Maybe it takes them to sit in jail for a few days, lose their home, lose their kids temporarily but the addict has to discover what their rock bottom is personally to them and then they decide how to get back what they have lost. If they aren’t ready the addiction will continue because they haven’t got to this point of self-discovery.
Final Thoughts for Family/Friends
So to close, I hope this article helps you understand a little bit more about how the addict/alcoholic is thinking and that really there is not much you can do to stop them being addicted to drugs and alcohol. They have to take that step for themselves but you can provide emotional support along the way and encouragement that there is a way out. Hope can help fuel a recovery and the 12 step meetings prove there are many people who have overcome these issues.
If you should know an addict/alcoholic that is serious about changing their situation, please click the link to book a free 15 min recovery journey strategy call. There are many solutions to addiction that can be helpful to your family member and the family as a whole.
If you would like more info about me, please check out my LinkedIn profile
In my field as a counselor, many times I can recognize early signs that a client will probably experience an addiction relapse. I don’t need a crystal ball. It’s quite obvious. I wanted to share these signs so that you can see them in yourself before a relapse.
These are my top 3 signs of an upcoming relapse and how to fix it:
Sign # 1: Not Being Honest with Yourself
Not being honest with yourself or denial as it truly is called is a tough one and strong force hindering a recovery. It can corrupt your thought life if you let it.
A person will understand that their drinking/drug use has become a problem in one thought and, in another thought, will be completely able to (in their mind) “rationally” feel they are not an addict or alcoholic. You know the real truth.
Denial is sad because it truly is just a person lying to themselves about the extent of the problem.
So if you are still wondering if you have a drug/alcohol problem, stay with me and read on. Ask yourself the questions below. I promise if you are truthful with yourself (not anyone else just you), you will know the answer.
(PSA: any family members reading this, your nagging/bitching to an addict/alcoholic about their addiction doesn’t help- typically makes it worse and can be the cause of an addiction relapse so knock it off. They already know they probably have a problem & guess what, most of the time part of the underlying issue has to do with you. Yes sorry but true so please keep your “help” to yourself)
Ok back on topic so if you can’t figure it out here’s a strategy that works: (sorry about the rant above (my PSA) but a lot of times family sabotage recovery attempts so it fires me up)
Coping strategy:
Sit quietly with yourself and look at your
drinking/drug use. Ask yourself these
questions:
Is it a problem in your life?
Are your finances a crash & burn?
Is it causing stress in your life?
Is it causing relationship difficulties with your friends and loved ones?
If so, well you know the answer……it’s a problem.
Sign #2: You are NOT the priority
In any successful recovery from addiction or depression or anxiety, you must be the priority which means you have to focus on yourself and your physical and mental health.
People that experience an addiction relapse are mostly trying to please others and do not take care of themselves. They are stressed out, overworked, over tired, eating sometimes which is mainly junk food most of the time, don’t go to counseling and aren’t applying healthy coping skills to their life.
When I meet people who are doing these things, it is a red flag as a counselor. I don’t need a crystal ball because I know a relapse is coming.
Coping strategy:
Look at your lifestyle. Ask yourself:
Are you taking care of yourself? When was the last time you had a check up? When was the last time you spoke to a counselor? Have you thought about when was the last time you made yourself the priority?
Probably a while. Look at these things and make small adjustments in your life. Recovery is about baby steps, one step at a time, one day at a time.
Sign #3: You have toxic assholes in your life.
Sorry about the language but I’m right. If you have manipulators, toxic people, friends that are drug users or power drinkers in your life, you will more than likely experience an addiction relapse.
Unfortunately, the saying is true “birds of a feather…..” and sometimes these people are family members 🙁 I know sad truth but if this situation doesn’t change it’s just a matter of time before you relapse.
Coping strategy:
Set healthy boundaries. Not everyone in your life is meant to stay in
your life permanently. Some are only
there for a season. Sometimes we outgrow
them and that’s perfectly ok.
It’s a sad truth but these manipulators or toxic folks are called toxic for a reason. They will make it near impossible to stay clean and sober.
Make yourself the priority and set boundaries (rules/standards for your life) with these people and let them go. They are not good for you. If they are family members, limit contact and if they start behaving badly, make an excuse to get off the phone, run to the store or not come over. Healthy boundaries will help you. I promise.
These are my top 3 reasons I see as a counselor that are the main reason people relapse. These reasons can be corrected quite easily but it takes work and practice.
If you are trying to change and continue to have issues staying clean and sober, please reach out to me and book your free 15 min recovery journey strategy call. If I cannot help you I will gladly refer you to someone in your area that can.
