During the past few months, everyone has been under a great deal of stress. It has been difficult to manage and substance abuse is on the rise.
Sometimes people are fearful to reach out for help or unsure what they need to do to change the situation. I wanted to write about some signs that indicate counseling may be helpful.
Signs Addiction Counseling May Be Helpful to You
You are drinking or abusing substances more than 3 times per week.
When you drink, you have difficulties stopping once you start.
You keep running out of your prescription early.
Your friends or family are talking to you about it & many times it is causing arguments.
You know deep down it’s a problem but am not sure how to change.
Benefits of Addiction Counseling
You will feel relief
You will feel understood
You will start to feel better physically and mentally
You will learn skills to stay sober and clean
You will create a plan to minimize relapses
How to Search for a Counselor or Therapist who Specializes in Addiction
You can search with google or Psychology Today by the substance you are having issues with. You can narrow the search on Psychology Today by picking the problem you would like help with as well as the zip code, insurance, etc. Be specific and look for a counselor that specializes in addiction.
I say this as there have been many advancements in the treatment of addictions. It is a brain disease. Substance abuse changes the brain chemistry. There are various medications that can help eliminate cravings, urges and eliminate withdrawal effects.
A counselor who specializes in addictions will be knowledgeable of these options and have connections in the addiction treatment community to link/refer you to a higher level of care if it is needed.
3 Questions to Ask the Counselor When You Call
Do you specialize in treatment of substance abuse or addictions?
Do you have a state certification for addiction counseling? (it is a specialization/additional certification that just a traditional therapist)
Will they see you if you are taking medications for addiction? (like Vivitrol, Suboxone or Methadone) Some counselors do not see the benefits of medicated assisted treatment in the treatment of addiction. They prefer a client to not be on these medications.
So as you can see if you feel like you are struggling to reduce your drinking or using pills, addiction counseling can help.
Isn’t it time to start feeling better and less ashamed? If you feel like it is, reach out and book a free 20 minute session by clicking the button below.
I wrote you a letter to discuss the benefits of online counseling during the pandemic & why it’s super important for you to reach out.
Dear Reader,
I wanted to write a quick letter to you to alleviate any fears you may have about starting online counseling. I am an addiction counselor in Clearwater and as you know, trying to cope with the pandemic as well.
Our world has changed significantly in the past month. Counseling has turned to online or phone sessions. Counselors like me understand that many are fearful of trying this new format, who likes change anyways. I wanted to write a short letter to help alleviate any concerns you may have.
Telehealth also known as online counseling has been around for a while. It has been under-utilized but now has been placed in the forefront as the way to get counseling. Counselors are not in their offices right now and working from home.
Getting Started with Online Counseling
I wanted to give some basic information about how to get started with teletherapy. Actually it is very easy. Your counselor will email or text you an invite or link to the telehealth platform they are using such as Zoom or Doxy. These platforms are HIPPA compliant and secure.
I know you have read in the press lately about Zoom having issues with a breech in security. I am happy to report they initiated a password for each provider to use for sessions which has minimized the issue. To be honest, I guess I was one of the lucky ones because I never had a session compromised.
Once you connect the session by clicking the link or invite, you will see your therapist on the other end. It’s super easy. I recommend clients wear headphones or ear buds as it helps keep the conversation confidential, more focused, and easier to hear.
Tips for Online Counseling
I also recommend clients find a quiet place to talk. With kids home from school, that may mean taking a break talking in the car, sitting outside or in a quiet location inside the home while they play their video games or watch one of their shows.
Why Counseling is Important Right Now
Counseling is especially important at a time like this. We are all in the midst of experiencing something new, Covid-19 and stay at home orders. We have lost our normal and are trying to cope and adjust. Some people handle change easily and others struggle with it.
This time has caused an amplification of different types of stress such as financial stress if you have lost your job, family stress like all of sudden becoming the full time teacher/parent or loss of freedom to go where you want to with who you would like to as well as work stress if you are an essential worker.
This stress can increase feelings of grief/loss, anxiety, depression, anger and that is totally ok. However, learning to cope with those feelings in a healthy way is very important to your mental health. We are all in the same boat. Taking it one day or news conference at a time.
Online counseling is one of those tools that can help you learn to put healthy coping skills into place to help manage your symptoms and reduce conflicts in the home and reduce the risk of relapses to use of alcohol and drugs to self-medicate.
Counseling is a safe place to discuss how you are feeling because at times it can be difficult to discuss with family members because it just adds additional stress which will cause conflicts. Remember your family is going through this collective trauma as well.
How to Find an Online Counselor
So to wrap this up, I hope this letter finds you well and if you are struggling, please reach out to a counselor to help you. Many are accepting new clients. You can find them in a directory like Psychology Today.
When you go to Psychology Today, each counselor was asked to indicate how they were offering their services during the pandemic. It’s on their profile. Many indicate telehealth only at this time, accepting new clients or sliding fees so just check it out.
Or if you already have a counselor, please reach out to them to schedule a session. Many are offering sliding scales or shorter sessions to help with the financial aspect of counseling during the pandemic.
Also if you want to talk about this or having any questions please reach out to me here and book a free 15 min phone consultation. You are under no obligation to book a session but I can help you by answering any questions you may have.
It can be difficult to stay clean & sober when others in your home are not during the pandemic stay at home orders
In Florida where I live the “Safer at Home” order has just been changed to a “Stay at Home” order during the pandemic. This pandemic has caused all sorts of trauma & one important one in recovery is that we have lost our freedom to leave a situation when we want to. I know people are struggling with staying clean and sober during this time because of all that stress and stay at home orders.
I wanted to provide some quick tips to help anyone stay clean and sober even if the rest of the adults in the household are not.
My Facebook feed is filled with people stuck at home, bored and what are they doing day-drinking, having booze delivered, memes about remaining hammered most of the day.
So if you find yourself struggling to stay sober and the adults in your family are not cooperating, here are a few tips to help you.
Try to set healthy boundaries with your family (I know easier said than done 😉 )
Here’s the thing, most people who are struggling with a substance use disorder have some type of dysfunction in their family. Trust me, its not only your family. All families have some type of dysfunction.
So if you try to set a healthy boundary such as asking them not to bring alcohol in the house and it is still brought into the house, don’t start a confrontation just try to cope with it a different way.
Important Tip: Many relapses start from confrontations with family members who are not sober. Just walk away & let it go
Let Go of Things Outside of Your Control & Take It One Day at a Time
These are 2 big game changing concepts to look at. Many people are panicking about things outside of their control. Remain in the present moment, do what you can today that really is all we can do.
So what can you do today to help strengthen your recovery, minimize risk of relapse & remain calm
Find a quiet spot & read the Big Book
Attend a Virtual 12 Step Meeting Options (there’s a bunch)
Learn how to Meditate & remain in the present moment
Try a free app like Calm or Headspace
Avoid confrontations – You are not going to change them
Video chat/text friends/sponsor who are in recovery
Go sit outside in your yard in the sunshine 😊
Create a list for yourself of the great 12 step sayings to read over or hang up in your room (they’re short & sweet but very powerful)
Here’s a few for you
Easy Does It
Progress not Perfection
Just for Today
This Too Shall Pass
Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes
Let Go & Let God (or whomever your higher power is)
Remember the most important takeaway from this post: If you are not actively working on your recovery, you are working on your next relapse
So friends, just take it easy and remember this too shall pass. We will move past this pandemic. We are resilient and will be able to resume normal everyday life soon.
Until then, the best way to stay clean & sober is to have a plan of things you can actively do to stay clean & sober.
If you are struggling with sobriety please feel free to reach out to me here in the comments below or give me at call at (727) 815-6017. Also if you would like to schedule an individual session to discuss things confidentially please check out this page https://cindythecounselor.com/book-a-session/
Tips on how to stay clean & sober at home when other adults in the home are not
Telehealth is truly an awesome tool for therapists
Almost a year ago I branched out into telehealth also known as online counseling. I am trained in telehealth, but fear stopped me from pursuing this in my practice.
One afternoon, I was sitting (I remember exactly where I was) doing paperwork and thought “how can you expect your clients to embrace online counseling if you won’t try it?” Yep, counselors have fears too sometimes 😉. Sometimes it’s hard for us to practice what we preach. Yeah, I know silly right? Hey, we are all human.
Anyways back to the fear of online counseling, I decided right then to jump in with both feet and as fear is (irrational thoughts) it was fine. Now I love it and here’s why I encourage any client to try it.
Video I created about telehealth
Why You Should Consider Telehealth or Online Counseling during Pandemic
Telehealth is convenient
I am one of those Amazon Prime people who I’m sure the delivery guy hates my address. As a busy counselor & mom, I love the convenience of Prime. They help my busy life by bringing me things without having to stop at the store.
Now enter telehealth technology, where you don’t have to go to an office to see a doctor or counselor. It’s great for people who don’t have transportation, can’t go to see their therapist because the kids are sick or can’t fit therapy into their busy day to get to the office due to their work schedule. It helps you find a counselor that is right for you and even if the counselor is not in your town.
It’s excellent because it’s totally less stress. I’m in Clearwater, Florida so traffic is always a bear this time of year. No offense, snowbirds but you make it more crowded on the roads. It’s difficult to get anywhere timely. Driving to an appointment can be very stressful and this option takes the stress away. Online counseling makes it easier and quicker to see a therapist or counselor.
Telehealth platforms are user friendly
Hey, I don’t claim to be super techy (ask my kids 😉 they know) but I can honestly say the telehealth platform I use Doxy. Doxy is HIPPA compliant (which means secure & confidential) and soooo super easy to use.
You as the client clicks a link the provider sends you by email. You will enter your first name and click check in. On my end as the provider, I see you in my waiting room. I click your name & start the session connects.
Telehealth can be used anywhere
Aaaaahhhh don’t I wish…..I’m so kidding about online counseling here but this would be completely awesome!!! 😊 😊 😊
Typically, I meet my clients in my office or my home office. My home office for evening sessions. I use headphones which block out the potential of conversations being overheard that way the session is kept secured.
It is recommended my clients sit in a quiet space in their home. Finding a space where they will not be disturbed for the hour is ideal.
Therapy is about being comfortable and safe. You are talking about some important topics to you that are causing you feelings of depression and anxiety. Therefore, I recommend you find a quiet place where you can be more focused and not disturbed or distracted.
To wrap up this post which I could go on about the benefits of telehealth. If you haven’t tried it, I would encourage you to strongly consider it. It really is convenient, user friendly and you honestly can be anywhere.
This type of platform helps open more availability for providers to help others. Sessions can occur outside of the 9 am to 5 pm office spots. Telehealth has helped me be able to help more clients after hours and on the weekends which is wonderful.
If you have any questions about telehealth please feel free to comment below and I will gladly answer them for you. You can also email me your questions at cdathey9@gmail.com If you are ready to give online counseling a try click this link to schedule a session
So as a counselor I like to facilitate mental health and recovery group therapy and I find there are some people that are intimidated by group settings.
I wanted to write this post to alleviate some of that anxiety about group therapy and why I highly recommend people participate in them.
1) You ARE NOT Being Judged
Thanks RDJ lol…
Many times people are reluctant to attend groups because they are fearful or anxious of what others may think of them and their situation. It’s ok you will not be judged.
Let me assure you, counselors facilitating groups are not judging you and neither are the people that attend. If you are attending a depression group, most people there will also be struggling with that. Addiction recovery groups will have people struggling with addiction. If you attend a grief group, guess what there will be others trying to cope with grief.
So don’t sweat it. A group setting is a safe, awesome place to share. The people there are like you and going through the same thing or have gone through what you are trying to cope with.
2) It’s a Safe Place of Support
Any group I’ve facilitated, which at this point would be in the upper hundreds or maybe more 😉 are a safe place of support. People are there to learn strategies and skills to apply in their own life.
The group setting is confidential and welcoming. What’s said in group stays in the group. It is not shared outside of the group. So let’s say I see a group member at Walmart I will not say “see you at group.” That’s a huge group no no. It will not happen. That is a requirement of all the groups.
Let me add the only time any group information is disclosed and that would only be by the counselor would be if someone was threatening to harm themselves or others.
3) There should be no more than 10 people in the group
Here’s why I say that anymore than 10 to me feels like a class. Group is not a class or workshop. A support group is generally held weekly, biweekly or monthly. It should be supportive in nature and for that smaller is generally more comfortable and effective.
If you are looking for a group and there are 20 people in it, you will not find the outcomes you are looking for unless the outcomes are to attend a class. Group is not like that.
So that’s my 3 things I would like to share about groups. Groups are awesome, not scary, not judgmental and the bonus ** you meet wonderful new people ** who are sharing a part of your life that is troubling to you. That’s the support part 😊 & they ROCK!!!!
If you are struggling, don’t be scared or anxious, reach out to a group near you. They will help you. You’ll see 😊
If you are in the Tampa Bay area and looking for a group, click this link to book your free 15 min recovery strategy call so I can help you and if I can’t I do have connections that I can refer you to that can.
Addiction can start to feel like “the new normal” in a family.
Addiction is a very sneaky brain disease. It corrupts the mind over time for the person
who is deep in the throes of whatever may be the addiction. It starts to feel like “the normal” when the
bystanders/family/friends just see the chaos but actually it can become their
new normal too. Addicted people will try
to hide it, try to function during it, lie about it, steal for it and hurt
themselves for it.
Figuring out if your loved one has an addiction
So you may ask how do I know if someone I love has early signs or red flags of behavior or mindsets that increase the chance of an addiction???? And unfortunately if you are questioning or reading about whether they are or not, there is already some suspicions about the problem.
Also this article is geared towards adults with addiction and
not teens or juveniles. The early signs
are pretty much the same but the way you respond will be a bit different. I will add a second article about how to cope
with teen addicts.
Here’s a quick list of early signs of possible addiction in an adult I’ve compiled to help you out.
Early Signs of Addiction
A person appears to be sneaky or it feels like
the story that they are telling you just doesn’t add up. Trust your gut! When you feel something isn’t right, unfortunately
it probably isn’t.
You start missing money or the person is
spending a lot of money but has nothing to show for it. Things of value start disappearing (probably
down at the local pawn shop)
The person starts to have more days where they
are using the substance than sober/clean days.
Now if it’s a compulsive behavior like gambling, gaming or spending, look
at how much time or money they are spending on it.
They start justifying their behavior. Some examples, people will say are like “I’m careful when I drink and drive and won’t get another DUI” or “It’s ok I won’t be drug tested this week at probation”. So doesn’t make sense, right??? You’re right it won’t.
Not following through with
responsibilities. Is the person missing
a lot of school or work? Do they appear
sick (hungover or dope sick) much of the time?
Are they lethargic and unmotivated?
So I see some familiar signs, now what????
Now I know it is frightening to see signs that look familiar and it may ring true for a loved one but most importantly, stay calm. Addiction is a tough disease on the person who is addicted but also the family.
The main take away point I want to make to any family
member/loved one reading this is that for an addict to stop, they have to want to change. I know
you want them to change but if they don’t want to it means they are not there
yet. Hopefully they get there but you
cannot force recovery. It is a personal
choice.
So here are a few tips to help you as a loved one:
Don’t enable their behavior. By that I mean don’t “loan” them money because seriously you’re not getting that back. Don’t call their PO, pay their bills or call out of work for them. Make them take some responsibility for their choices. You can love them of course but you must incorporate a semi “tough love” stance and let them basically sink or swim and hopefully at some point they will want to change. It’s ok to love someone from afar and set healthy boundaries.
Let go of
control. There is only so much that
you can do about this with regards to an adult.
For a successful recovery, it is a personal journey. Therefore, the person needs to determine that
they want to be clean, sober, productive and motivated. Think this way, have you ever changed when
someone told you to change? No if anything,
I know in my own life it caused me to rebel against whatever it may be.
Go see a therapist or counselor. Dealing with an addiction in the family is not for the faint of heart. It’s chaos that changes day to day and sometimes minute to minute. I truly believe everyone has a part to play in an addiction in a family (the addict and you, yes you.) Now if you are saying “well, I don’t buy the drugs or swipe the credit card”, no you don’t but addicts are using their addiction to hide from something. Addiction is an ineffective band aid of sorts. It is covering a wound or their viewpoint of the wound. A therapist or counselor can assist you unbiasedly with support, identifying your role in all of this and help you create strategies to help maintain your sanity as well as cope with what is going on in the home.
So to wrap up, if you have identified a loved one may have
an issue, remember it is outside of your control. However, what is inside of your control is
how you react. Stop enabling or feeding
the addiction, let go of trying to control the addict and finally, go see a
therapist for yourself.
Need more help
Also if you have any questions or need guidance, please do not hesitate to reach out to me and click the link to book your free 15 min recovery strategy call. If I can’t answer you’re question, I know I can help guide you to the person/agency that does.
I have always loved this pic…..Snoopy, Lucy, the counselor & Charlie Brown 🙂
Finding a good counselor or therapist that is right for you is paramount to helping improve your mental health. Counselors or therapists should not just work with everyone. They should specialize in a few disorders and not everything in the DSM.
For example, I help people recover from general mental health issues like stress, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and addictions. Not everything and anything listed as a mental health disorder. I help people learn coping skills that they can apply in their life to help them manage stress and circumstances that come up because guess what?… Life happens right?
Back to the topic who knows it all right? No one, and the ones that do not specialize to me are more like a primary care physician, who fixes everything. Honestly, I call my PCP, “my sore throat guy”. I typically go to him when I have random health ailments that I need fixed.
A counselor or therapist should not be like that. They should not be working on all things mental health because there is no expert on everything. Plus someone who is more specific in what they help others with will more than likely be more passionate and effective in that topic than let’s say the “jack of all trades, master of none” counselor.
The counselor/client relationship is like a smooth running engine in the fact that if you start seeing the wrong type of counselor well you won’t find the outcomes or result you are looking for, feel worse and there will be bumps along the road.
The right therapist or counselor will help you feel more empowered, stronger and able to look at the past, acknowledge and accept it and then give it a wave goodbye and progress. It’s like peanut butter and jelly, works well together 🙂
I created this post to help people discover the right counselor for themselves. Here’s what you honestly need to look for.
Don’t Just Go with Someone On Your Health Insurance Provider List
If you have health insurance a good place to start is actually on the provider list. You can call around and see who is available. You can look on websites like Psychology Today which can help you narrow the search in your area. Here’s a link to the Psychology Today website. However, remember there are great counselors who do not take insurance and there is a reason for it.
Many times, insurance companies are difficult to deal with on the counseling business side. They can be slow to reimburse the claims, and the reimbursement rates can be very low. The problem with that is that many counselors/therapists feel the need to stack more clients in their practice to compensate for the low rates. It becomes more like an assembly line of therapy of sorts and that is never effective.
So don’t just disregard the private pay type of counselors. They will more than likely be able to provide a better, more effective service if their practice is smaller in the client numbers. Also consider the fees which some are outlandishly priced. Of course, cost will depend upon your area, credentials and expertise, but just look around and compare.
Try a few out
I highly recommend this to anyone. The client/counselor relationship should feel right and if it doesn’t it is probably best to keep looking around. This is best for the counselor and client because you want the right fit.
Go with your gut when you leave the first session. Ask yourself a few questions like…. Does it feel ok? Did I like the person? Did I feel listened to and respected?
These are important questions to ask yourself because this is a trust-built relationship and if you feel like you cannot be honest with your counselor well you will not get the outcomes or end result you are looking for.
Also if you check out a different counselor, don’t fret or feel bad. Any counselor or therapist worth their weight will want you to find the right fit. And we will not be upset with you, I promise 😉 . We got in this line of work to help others (ultimate goal) and it is not about the money. If you find someone who feels the other way, it truly is time to walk away and find someone else.
Your Counselor Should Not Be Booked Out Months
If you are looking and find that a counselor is booked out months in advance that can tell you one of 2 things:
1) they must be good at what they specialize in
2) their caseload is too high.
Many counseling agencies don’t put a hold on new referrals to a caseload when honestly, they should. A counselor or therapist should not have a caseload of 100 clients it’s unrealistic to think a counselor will be able to provide quality service.
Unfortunately so true when the caseload is super high at a community agency. Props to uniqueteachingresources.com for this meme because it’s on point
I will give you a real-life example. I used to work for a community mental health agency that did just that. And to be honest by the end of that 8-hour day at session 7 to 8-ish, I was mentally exhausted and spent. I can tell you honestly I was not providing my finest, top of my game counseling. No one can.
Hello behavioral health agency people if you are reading this, be realistic, counselors are people too. Work and life are all about balance and when something is out of alignment like too high of a caseload, service is going to suffer.
If you call or find out the appointment is too far away (like 3-4 weeks), then you may want to consider looking around. When you attend the first session with a counselor/therapist you can even ask how far apart are the counseling sessions typically? If they say 3-4 weeks that is too far apart, politely pass and move on to find someone else.
Initially when someone begins counseling it is more effective to see the counselor once per week for a while. After the situation is becoming stable and you are learning coping skills to help manage the situation, the goal is to scale back the sessions to biweekly or twice a month and then after a period of time, monthly.
An effective counselor/therapist’s goal is to work themselves out of a job per se and it is not to be a lifelong commitment of sessions. As you start feeling better, learn and apply the skills discussed in the sessions, you more than likely will not need to see the counselor as often.
Ok so the key takeaways from this post are: look around and check your insurance plan but remember there are plenty of “out of network” or private pay providers, find a provider that is specific to your needs, listen to your gut about the whether the new counselor is a good fit and finally see how often you can see them. More is better at first like weekly.
So I hope this article answers some of your questions about finding the counselor or therapist for you.
