Covid has been around for a few months now with most families spending more time together. Can you say we have entered family conflict zone, yep we have.
Stress within the family has increased during this crisis which at times can cause conflicts. These arguments arise due to health concerns, financial worry, substance use increase (alcohol sales are up 234%) as well as possibly adding in job layoffs/workplace instability.
When all of these things combine within the family, it’s not a pretty picture. Effective communication breaks down, irritability increases and arguments start.
This article will give you some tips on how to reduce the likelihood of arguments and conflicts in the family as it appears that we may be spending a lot more time together in the upcoming months.
5 Tips to Reduce Arguments
- Stop saying or screaming hurtful things to your loved one
When in the heat of an argument, many times people say ugly, hurtful comments. Remember the saying “hurt people, hurt people.”
When you feel hurt by something, it is best to calm yourself down first before continuing any type of discussion. Plus it is never good to hurt your loved one, ever & I know you agree.
2. Walk Away (it’s not just for kids)
We tell kids when they are angry to walk away from a fight, yet as adults we seldom do. If you find yourself getting very aggravated, walk away to calm down.
Remember to set a boundary with the other party like “I need to go calm down by myself for a few minutes before we continue this discussion. I don’t want to say something that I don’t mean.” Then take yourself out of the picture.
3. Get Calm, Cool & Collected
So before you re-engage in the conversation, you have to calm yourself down. Try to take a few deep breaths and remember we all view and cope with stress differently. Maybe this argument started for a different reason altogether.
Ever have a stupid argument at home about something like taking out the trash or putting an empty container back in the fridge, when really the main problem was something else. Yep, we all have.
But here’s a bonus about this tip as you are away from the argument trying to calm down so is the other party which gives them time to calm themselves down as well.
4. Be an Active Listener
When you are in an argument, listen to the other party. Do not sit there and think of your response because when you do that you are not listening to them at all.
Remember this is a loved one or family member who ultimately you do not want to hurt. Listen to them. They are trying to explain to you what their view of the issue is.
5. Lower Your Volume
So I want you to think back to when you were a teen. Do you remember ever being screamed at by your parents or a teacher? If you do, I bet you didn’t listen once the screaming or volume got turned up. You tuned out.
So is screaming or yelling effective in getting your point of view across to someone else. Nope not in the slightest. I guarantee the other person has tuned out and are not hearing you. Screaming or yelling will not solve any problem, in fact it escalates it.
So that was 5 tips you can use to help cope & hopefully de-escalate family conflict. Remember we are all in this together and we are all stressed out to the max.
If you find you need help with this, book your family counseling session to below to get started.
Still unsure, counseling will help. Click the link above & you can schedule a free 20 min session with me to discuss the next step in getting your family back on track and stop family dysfunction junction in its tracks.
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