Cindy

Don’t Let Your Stimmy Raise Your Risk of Relapse

Addiction, Alcohol Use, Relapse Prevention, Substance Abuse /
You can reduce your risk of relapse even when receiving big sums of money like the recent stimulus

Are you new in recovery, have identified that one of your relapse triggers is having money & you are waiting or have recently got your stimulus check?  I know it can cause anxiety for people if having cash on hand is one of your triggers. 

Let’s come up with a few strategies to help you remain in recovery & not blow your stimmy on something you are going to regret.

Tips to Avoid Relapse When You Receive a Windfall like “the latest Stimmy”

 1 ) Create a Spending/Saving Plan for the Money

Financial recovery is part of recovery as addictions can take a HUGE toll on personal finances.  I’m sure savings are low or maybe savings is not your forte, create a plan for the money.  Give a job to each dollar. It’s time to get your life together & part of that is being responsible with money.

2) Consider letting a trusted person in your life save it for you or perhaps open a savings account at a bank or financial institution. 

Set the account up so you do not have instant access via your phone.  That way you have to physically go into the bank, during bank hours to make a withdrawn. 

Word of warning about a “trusted person”, make sure this is a healthy person & not one that is one of the codependent people in your life that you need to set boundaries with.  Also family many times mean well but also can sometimes set you up for failure in a subconscious way.  A lot of times they have enabled your addiction, so those are the people you do not want to use as an accountability, trusted financial person. 

Let’s say you do not have a trusted person in your life as you are starting to creating healthy relationships, then the financial institution such as your bank would be a good, safe bet.  They are impartial & are not emotionally invested in any decision making. 

3) Don’t Carry a Bunch of Cash on You

If at some point you are having a weak moment and your day is not going the way you would like, you will reduce your risk of relapse if you do not have cash on you.  Most dealers are cash based.  If you do not have any cash on you or just a few dollars, you are not going to be able to purchase any or at the very least a very small amount of drugs/alcohol.   

Those are a few quick tips so that stimmy doesn’t fund a relapse.  Remember recovery is worth it!!!! I’m sure you can find some healthy way to use that stimmy 🙂 You Can Do This!!!!! but of course I had to post a funny meme about it 🙂

If you should have any questions or would like a free consult about counseling, please feel free to reach out to me at (727) 815-6017

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Recovery Tips for Christmas

Addiction, Alcohol Use, Relapse Prevention, Substance Abuse /
Holidays can be difficult in early recovery
Holiday celebrations or holiday isolation can increase risk of relapse

I wanted to discuss the upcoming holidays as it is typically a high risk time for people in recovery from substance use disorders. Plus let’s add a topping of Covid-19 stress, social distancing, mask wearing & isolation and guess what, it’s pretty much the perfect mix of a storm for relapse.

I wanted to give you a few ideas to help you reduce that risk. These tips will be for people staying home by themselves as well as those going out to visit family. Either way I’m sure the holidays are looking a little bit different than normal.

Staying Home by Yourself

  • Watch one of your fav holiday movies with super buttery popcorn in your jammies with a pet. (I recommend Elf or Christmas Vacation)
  • Go attend a 12 step meeting (most areas offer a 24 hour Alcathon’s which are AA meetings round the clock on Christmas Eve & Day as well as New Year’s Eve & Day)
  • Remind yourself – YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There is an entire recovery community waiting to meet you. Look around social media they are there.
  • If you do not want to go in person, check out a zoom AA or NA meeting or recovery podcast.
  • Treat yourself to your fav holiday meal & big dessert
  • Take a nap ,long bath, pedicure, etc.. (treat yourself to some nice self-care)
  • Zoom/Facetime, text or call your friends or family (don’t have any- check out a 12 step meeting)

Holidays with Others

Can be tricky – hopefully you are spending the holidays with people that are supportive of your recovery but that does not happen all the time. So here’s what you can do if you find yourself around the unsupportive bunch on the holidays.

  • Ignore the bad behaviors of others (LET IT GO) You will not change them today. So why let them ruin your day?
  • Excuse yourself & take a walk outside if you find yourself getting upset
  • Call/text a supportive friend or sponsor
  • Check out a recovery app on your phone or look on IG for Recovery accounts (there are tons)
  • Go check out a 12 step meeting (most areas offer a 24 hour Alcathon’s which are AA meetings round the clock on Christmas Eve & Day as well as New Year’s Eve & Day) YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
  • Ignore the bad behaviors of others (so worth repeating) (Uncle So & So is being a jerk, let it go because guess what you are not going to change him today)
  • Make an excuse & leave the event early

So here are a few tips to help you manage any risk for relapse over the upcoming holidays. If you need more help, consider scheduling your free 20 recovery strategy session

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Positive Directions Recovery Shop is Live on Etsy

Addiction, Alcohol Use, Relapse Prevention, Relationships, Self-Care, Substance Abuse /
The new shop will have all things recovery from substance abuse, depression, anxiety codependency & toxic relationships.

I am so excited to share about the new Positive Directions Recovery Shop.  I created this shop on Etsy to help people who may be struggling in recovery and want a way to independently work on themselves in between sessions or even if they are not in counseling presently. 

I created Recovery Journey Workbooks that are instant digital downloads.  I priced them within everyone’s price range so if you cannot afford therapy or do not have insurance, you’ll still be able to work on your recovery. 

https://www.etsy.com/shop/PositiveDirections

The Recovery Journey Workbooks are an easy to read format with worksheets to help you learn the skills to put into place to free yourself from negative mindsets that can increase your risk of relapse. Plus each workbook has lots of fun bonuses as well (but I’m not going to spoil the surprise for you but they are awesome)  I just uploaded another workbook last night which is new and about learning to cope with Toxic Relationships. 

Other fun finds are some coffee mugs I created.  Who doesn’t love a great coffee mug?  I know I do.  Here’s my favorite 🙂

Being a Sober Mom is My Superpower (my fav)

So check out the shop by clicking the button below.

Take Me to the Shop

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Things You Can Do to Handle a Craving or Urge

Addiction, Alcohol Use, Relapse Prevention, Substance Abuse /
You can implement skills to manage cravings & urges

When you are beginning to stay sober, entering recovery & want to not use drugs & alcohol, there can be a little fear.  Who am I kidding…? not a little fear…. ALOT of fear about urges, cravings, thoughts that say you can’t do this.  Thoughts will tell you it is too hard. 

I would like to address those fears here and provide you with 15 things you can do during a craving or urge to stop the thoughts that make you feel like you need to drink or use drugs. 

First things first, let’s talk about fear.

Fear is based out of irrational thought.  Yep, I said it & if you look at fear you will agree as well.  Here is why I say that.  Do you remember a time when you felt afraid to do something?  Yes, we all do. Sometimes fear stopped us & other times it did not. 

Here’s my challenge to you:  

Do you remember a time when you felt fear but pushed through anyways.  That’s typically a time when you were forced to face the fear whatever that may be.  Now remember that feeling after you faced the fear.  A big rush of Whew….YES!!! or even astonishment that you did it.    And later what did you say to yourself.  It really wasn’t that bad or no big deal.   Can you see how fear is false?

Create Your Plan

So to be successful in recovery it’s basically the same process with facing a craving or urge.  Cravings and urges do not last very long (research suggests they are less than 2 mins).  They will come & go.  Initially it may feel like they come & go every few minutes and they might.  However, there are ways to cope with urges and cravings and not succumb to them. Also they will get less & less as time goes on.

I’m a firm believer of having a great plan prior to tackling some big or small issues.  So I created a list of 15 things you can do if you are feeling a craving or urge.  You can have this at hand before you decide to quit using or drinking.  They are helpful & will give you the ammunition you need to kick this addiction to the curb. 

15 Things You Can Do to Cope with a Craving or Urge

  • Distract yourself by cleaning something
  • Call a friend who is supportive of you
  • Attend an AA meeting (during Covid, there are many meetings online)
  • “Play the tape out”
  • Close your eyes & take some deep breaths
  • Listen to a guided meditation
  • Take your dog for a walk
  • Take a shower
  • Watch a movie
  • Re-organize something (closet, bookshelf, sort thru junk mail)
  •   Do some yoga
  •   Watch a motivational video on You Tube
  •    Read something positive
  •    Close your eyes & picture a wave “Ride the urge”
  •    Journal a list of why sobriety is important to you

Ok so there is a list of things you can do during an urge or craving to drink or use drugs.  The key takeaway is fear is a liar and not true.  You can do this with a plan.  If you need some extra help, book a free 20 min recovery strategy session with me so we can start to turn this situation around. 

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Achieving Financial Stability in Recovery

Addiction, Alcohol Use, Substance Abuse /

Recovery from an addiction can be tough at times, especially to the wallet.  Financial stability can feel like a far-off lofty dream, but it can happen.   

I know you have overdue bills, owe people money from back in the day when you were borrowing it to buy alcohol or drugs and then there are the treatment expenses. 

I wanted to give a few suggestions to help you see the light at the end of this type of bleak tunnel because as you take small steps towards it that light will get brighter & brighter.

4 tips to get your finances headed back on track

Make a list of what is coming in & going out

I know it is depressing & really who in early recovery wants to look at that list.  I get it but I know it feels better to know where you stand than continue to be in denial.  You can look at the exact spot that you are in & then come up with a strategy to get out of it.

A strong recovery is about all things mind, body & soul.  If your mind is cluttered with money worries, well then it’s more difficult to build a strong foundation when making significant changes. 

Identify the needs & the wants

A basic need is just that something that you must have to survive like a roof over your head, electricity, food, treatment/counseling expenses, 12 step meeting contributions and transportation.  These are necessities.

The wants are things that make life a bit easier such as eating out, internet, Netflix and even a cell phone.  I know you are probably thinking I must have a cell phone.  Yes, it is very handy to have but look at your phone is it a new one?  Can you find a cheaper version at Walmart or Metro PCS?  May not be the ideal one you want for now, but it will do until you get back on your feet financially.

Write this out as a list of all expenses.  You can even add any outstanding debts you may owe as well.

Figure out a plan

Now we have our list & you can see what you can cut from it.  If your living outside of your means, which is your bills are more than your income then you need to consider either finding a higher paying job or cutting expenses. 

Here’s a quick list to look at

  • Can you downgrade or disconnect your internet, phone or streaming plans? 
  • How often do you eat out?
  • Do you smoke cigarettes?
  • Would working a second job for a short time be helpful? 

These are questions to ask.  If you are feeling depressed right now, take a deep breath & remember you are getting this back on track.  You start seeing it turn around pretty quick, hang in there.  It’s all baby steps. 

Start making those baby steps

Let’s say you can meet your basic needs which is awesome.  Now list your wants by priority of what you really want in your life.   Add in what you can afford.  If you can start to pay off a debt, even with $10 or $20 a week or month, do it.  You will feel better.  Remember you are starting to take responsibility & by doing so will make you feel more empowered.   

Looking at debt is never fun.  I know I’ve been there but if you take some basic temporary baby steps, you can start to see the situation turn around.  Recovery from drugs and alcohol is possible but so is financial recovery. 

If you feel like you don’t know where to start, reach out & schedule your free 20 minute recovery strategy call to help you come up with a plan to put this behind you.    Click the book a call link on the side of this page.

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How to Tell If You Need a Counselor for an Addiction

Addiction, Finding a Counselor /

During the past few months, everyone has been under a great deal of stress.  It has been difficult to manage and substance abuse is on the rise. 

Sometimes people are fearful to reach out for help or unsure what they need to do to change the situation.  I wanted to write about some signs that indicate counseling may be helpful.

Signs Addiction Counseling May Be Helpful to You

  1. You are drinking or abusing substances more than 3 times per week.
  2. When you drink, you have difficulties stopping once you start.
  3. You keep running out of your prescription early.
  4. Your friends or family are talking to you about it & many times it is causing arguments.
  5. You know deep down it’s a problem but am not sure how to change.

Benefits of Addiction Counseling

  1. You will feel relief
  2. You will feel understood
  3. You will start to feel better physically and mentally
  4. You will learn skills to stay sober and clean
  5. You will create a plan to minimize relapses

How to Search for a Counselor or Therapist who Specializes in Addiction 

You can search with google or Psychology Today by the substance you are having issues with.  You can narrow the search on Psychology Today by picking the problem you would like help with as well as the zip code, insurance, etc.  Be specific and look for a counselor that specializes in addiction. 

I say this as there have been many advancements in the treatment of addictions.  It is a brain disease.  Substance abuse changes the brain chemistry.  There are various medications that can help eliminate cravings, urges and eliminate withdrawal effects. 

A counselor who specializes in addictions will be knowledgeable of these options and have connections in the addiction treatment community to link/refer you to a higher level of care if it is needed. 

 3 Questions to Ask the Counselor When You Call

  1. Do you specialize in treatment of substance abuse or addictions?
  2. Do you have a state certification for addiction counseling? (it is a specialization/additional certification that just a traditional therapist)
  3. Will they see you if you are taking medications for addiction? (like Vivitrol, Suboxone or Methadone) Some counselors do not see the benefits of medicated assisted treatment in the treatment of addiction.  They prefer a client to not be on these medications. 

So as you can see if you feel like you are struggling to reduce your drinking or using pills, addiction counseling can help. 

Isn’t it time to start feeling better and less ashamed?  If you feel like it is, reach out and book a free 20 minute session by clicking the button below.

Book My Free 20 Min Session

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Family Conflicts & How to Reduce Them

Parenting Teens, Problem Solving, Relationships /
Family counseling can help you reduce and stop the arguing and conflicts.
Family counseling can help you reduce and stop the arguing and conflicts.

Covid has been around for a few months now with most families spending more time together.  Can you say we have entered family conflict zone, yep we have. 

Stress within the family has increased during this crisis which at times can cause conflicts.  These arguments arise due to health concerns, financial worry, substance use increase (alcohol sales are up 234%) as well as possibly adding in job layoffs/workplace instability. 

When all of these things combine within the family, it’s not a pretty picture. Effective communication breaks down, irritability increases and arguments start.

This article will give you some tips on how to reduce the likelihood of arguments and conflicts in the family as it appears that we may be spending a lot more time together in the upcoming months.  

5 Tips to Reduce Arguments

  1. Stop saying or screaming hurtful things to your loved one

When in the heat of an argument, many times people say ugly, hurtful comments.  Remember the saying “hurt people, hurt people.” 

When you feel hurt by something, it is best to calm yourself down first before continuing any type of discussion.  Plus it is never good to hurt your loved one, ever & I know you agree.

2. Walk Away (it’s not just for kids)

We tell kids when they are angry to walk away from a fight, yet as adults we seldom do.  If you find yourself getting very aggravated, walk away to calm down. 

Remember to set a boundary with the other party like “I need to go calm down by myself for a few minutes before we continue this discussion.  I don’t want to say something that I don’t mean.”  Then take yourself out of the picture.

3. Get Calm, Cool & Collected

So before you re-engage in the conversation, you have to calm yourself down.  Try to take a few deep breaths and remember we all view and cope with stress differently.  Maybe this argument started for a different reason altogether. 

Ever have a stupid argument at home about something like taking out the trash or putting an empty container back in the fridge, when really the main problem was something else.  Yep, we all have. 

But here’s a bonus about this tip as you are away from the argument trying to calm down so is the other party which gives them time to calm themselves down as well.

4. Be an Active Listener

When you are in an argument, listen to the other party.  Do not sit there and think of your response because when you do that you are not listening to them at all. 

Remember this is a loved one or family member who ultimately you do not want to hurt.  Listen to them.  They are trying to explain to you what their view of the issue is. 

5. Lower Your Volume

So I want you to think back to when you were a teen.  Do you remember ever being screamed at by your parents or a teacher?  If you do, I bet you didn’t listen once the screaming or volume got turned up.  You tuned out. 

So is screaming or yelling effective in getting your point of view across to someone else.  Nope not in the slightest.  I guarantee the other person has tuned out and are not hearing you.  Screaming or yelling will not solve any problem, in fact it escalates it. 

So that was 5 tips you can use to help cope & hopefully de-escalate family conflict.  Remember we are all in this together and we are all stressed out to the max. 

If you find you need help with this, book your family counseling session to below to get started. 

Start Family Counseling

Still unsure, counseling will help. Click the link above & you can schedule a free 20 min session with me to discuss the next step in getting your family back on track and stop family dysfunction junction in its tracks.

Want to learn more about Cindy, check out the LinkedIn profile

Tips to reduce family conflicts
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Drugs & Alcohol: Red Flags to Notice

Addiction, Alcohol Use, Substance Abuse /
drug & alcohol use is on the rise during covid
Identifying red flags can help you determine if drugs & alcohol use are a problem in your life

We have all been dealing with the pandemic and some people have managed to cope with it better than others. Drugs & alcohol use are up according to latest numbers.  Not good news I know. 

I wanted to write a quick article about how you can quickly decide if you have an issue with substances.

I meet with clients and can immediately spot if they have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, drugs or food.  Mainly any type of compulsive behavior but for the nature of this blog post we will focus on those 3.  So what do these people say that causes my red flag to go up?

Thinking errors or cognitive distortions as we call them in the field come up in the initial conversation.  A thinking error is just that a distorted view of life or reality in some way. 

Red Flags

For example, people will minimize the issue (thinking error).  They will say things like “I don’t drink that much”. Another one is “I take my pills as prescribed but yeah, sometimes I run out of my prescription early”.  

However, it is in congruent with what the reality is. The person could have just been arrested for a DUI or had to try to get a refill early. It really is an issue in their life that they are minimizing or in denial. 

Another red flag is when a person reports drinking or using a substance daily to cover up some problem. The person says they don’t want to think about or perhaps “numb out” so they don’t feel. That’s a problem with whatever you are using to cope. 

There are lots of red flags that can indicate a substance use disorder. The main thing is if you think it’s a problem or feel shame the day after then it’s a problem. 

How to Change It

Counseling can help you learn healthy ways to cope with stress especially during this time in our country.  It can help you get to the root of the issue of why you abuse substances. Counseling can help you come up with strategies to put into place that work for you. It can help you reduce or stop abusing the substance.

If you feel this may be you, reach out by scheduling a free 15 min phone or online zoom session . The free session is used to discuss if counseling might be right fit for you.    

Interested in learning more about Cindy, go to the FAQ page

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Staying Sober During Holiday BBQ’s

Alcohol Use, Relapse Prevention, Substance Abuse /
Staying sober with a plan is key
Holiday BBQ’s can increase your risk of relapse. But don’t worry – staying sober can happen with a plan.

Staying sober during holiday get togethers can be difficult.  The 4th of July is coming up in a week.    Holiday BBQ’s are typically filled with hamburgers, hot dogs, potato salad & of course, cold refreshments (beer, wine & perhaps red, white & blue jello shots). 

So it can increase your risk of relapse.  There’s some good news of course in that if you have a plan for those types of events, it is way easier to keep your recovery in check.

Here are a few tips to help you with creating that plan

Stay close to the sober people

Not everyone will be drinking.  The people that are the drinkers typically stay together.  However, let’s say everyone is drinking (worst case scenario) nominate yourself to be the DD (designated driver) & let the host know that ahead of time. 

The host of the party & drinkers will appreciate that you are acting responsibly to make sure they get home safely.

Practice your excuse before the event

Everyone does not need to know all of your business unless you want them to. Sometimes it can lower your self-esteem & increase your feelings of shame.  Drug and alcohol problems have people feeling so much shame.  Let go of that and decide ahead of time (key point- figure this out ahead of time) what you will say. 

You can always role play this with a loved one.  I guarantee there is someone in your corner that wants you to stay sober and if not, give me a call.  It’s free and I would love to help you figure this out. 

Some examples of excuses that work & people typically won’t question (& if they do, ignore them & stand your ground)

“I don’t drink”

“My doctor said I can’t drink”

“I have to drive”  

“I’m on a 30 day no alcohol cleanse”

“I’m the DD for the evening”

Do Not Feel Guilty about Staying Sober

I know if you tell them no, they might continue to put the pressure on and make you feel like you are the fun sucker of the party.  Stand fast friend.  Your sobriety is the number 1 important thing in this and not a random BBQ that happens every year. 

The Big Picture

Look at the big picture & if you are reading this, I know you know that alcohol is a problem in your life.  Take a moment & imagine how good you are going to feel when you wake up the day after the BBQ with no shame.  What a win….you stayed sober.  It’s an awesome feeling & this whole deal gets easier with time.  Trust me it does with practice.

If you are struggling and worried about staying sober at the upcoming 4th of July festivities, please reach out and schedule your free 15 min phone consultation so we can talk about ways to help you stay sober. 

Schedule Free Phone Consultation

Let’s talk about it so you can enjoy yourself on this Independence Day because you know what you are breaking free from alcohol.  Talk about freedom! 

Here is where you can find more information about alcohol counseling

Staying Sober at BBQ's
Tips to Staying Sober at BBQ’s

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Drug & Alcohol Treatment – What Level Do You Need?

Addiction, Alcohol Use, Relapse Prevention, Substance Abuse /
Start your road to recovery from drug and alcohol addiction
Ready to start your road to recovery from drug and alcohol addiction?

Drug and alcohol treatment can vary based on what type of level of care is needed.  This will give a general breakdown of the various types.  Some of the ones we will discuss are:  Medical Detox, Residential Treatment, Intensive Outpatient and Outpatient services.

Medical Detox

This type of treatment is considered the highest level of care.  It provides medical monitoring by a physician for the client 24 hours per day. 

Length of stay is dependent on many different variables such as substances used, tolerance level, addiction severity and health issues.  An average stay is up to a week. 

Residential Treatment

Once medically cleared from the detox, many times clients continue their recovery in a residential treatment program.  As the name implies, the client will live at the program.  These programs vary in length as well. 

Many are 28-30 days but others can last up to 6-18 months.  These programs provide individual and family counseling, 12 step meetings and group therapy.

Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP)

These programs are outpatient in which the client resides at home and attends the program typically between 3-5 days per week during the day.  The programs generally include individual and group therapy.

Outpatient Therapy

Once a client has completed residential treatment or IOP part of their discharge plan is continued counseling in an outpatient setting. This therapy will occur in a counselor’s office. 

These sessions are held individually with a counselor to help the client learn and implement coping skills in their life to maintain sobriety. 

Still Not Sure What Level of Treatment You Need?

If you are still unsure what level of drug & alcohol treatment is most appropriate for you, talk to an expert. Schedule your Free Consultation so we can discuss this and see what is the best avenue for you.

Schedule Free Consultation

To find out more info about Cindy Athey, alcohol & drug abuse therapist in Clearwater, check out the About Me page or click here to go to my LinkedIn Profile page

FAQ’s for new clients

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