Self-Esteem

How to Stay Clean & Sober During Pandemic Stay at Home Orders When the Other Adults There Aren’t

Addiction, Finding a Counselor, Relapse Prevention, Self-Esteem, Substance Abuse /
It can be difficult to stay clean & sober when others in your home are not during the pandemic stay at home orders

In Florida where I live the “Safer at Home” order has just been changed to a “Stay at Home” order during the pandemic.  This pandemic has caused all sorts of trauma & one important one in recovery is that we have lost our freedom to leave a situation when we want to.  I know people are struggling with staying clean and sober during this time because of all that stress and stay at home orders.

I wanted to provide some quick tips to help anyone stay clean and sober even if the rest of the adults in the household are not. 

My Facebook feed is filled with people stuck at home, bored and what are they doing day-drinking, having booze delivered, memes about remaining hammered most of the day.

So if you find yourself struggling to stay sober and the adults in your family are not cooperating, here are a few tips to help you.

Try to set healthy boundaries with your family (I know easier said than done 😉 )

Here’s the thing, most people who are struggling with a substance use disorder have some type of dysfunction in their family.  Trust me, its not only your family. All families have some type of dysfunction. 

So if you try to set a healthy boundary such as asking them not to bring alcohol in the house and it is still brought into the house, don’t start a confrontation just try to cope with it a different way.   

Important Tip: Many relapses start from confrontations with family members who are not sober. Just walk away & let it go

Let Go of Things Outside of Your Control & Take It One Day at a Time

These are 2 big game changing concepts to look at.  Many people are panicking about things outside of their control.  Remain in the present moment, do what you can today that really is all we can do. 

So what can you do today to help strengthen your recovery, minimize risk of relapse & remain calm

  1. Find a quiet spot & read the Big Book
  2. Attend a Virtual 12 Step Meeting Options (there’s a bunch)
  3. Learn how to Meditate & remain in the present moment
    • Try a free app like Calm or Headspace
  4. Avoid confrontations – You are not going to change them
  5. Video chat/text friends/sponsor who are in recovery
  6. Go sit outside in your yard in the sunshine 😊
  7. Create a list for yourself of the great 12 step sayings to read over or hang up in your room (they’re short & sweet but very powerful)
    • Here’s a few for you
      • Easy Does It
      • Progress not Perfection
      • Just for Today
      • This Too Shall Pass
      • Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes
      • Let Go & Let God (or whomever your higher power is)

Remember the most important takeaway from this post: If you are not actively working on your recovery, you are working on your next relapse 

So friends, just take it easy and remember this too shall pass.  We will move past this pandemic.  We are resilient and will be able to resume normal everyday life soon.

Until then, the best way to stay clean & sober is to have a plan of things you can actively do to stay clean & sober. 

If you are struggling with sobriety please feel free to reach out to me here in the comments below or give me at call at (727) 815-6017. Also if you would like to schedule an individual session to discuss things confidentially please check out this page https://cindythecounselor.com/book-a-session/

Tips on how to stay clean & sober at home when other adults in the home are not

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Why Online Counseling May Be Right for You

Anxiety, Depression, Finding a Counselor, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Substance Abuse /
online counseling is very convenient and easy to use
Telehealth is truly an awesome tool for therapists

Almost a year ago I branched out into telehealth also known as online counseling.  I am trained in telehealth, but fear stopped me from pursuing this in my practice. 

One afternoon, I was sitting (I remember exactly where I was) doing paperwork and thought “how can you expect your clients to embrace online counseling if you won’t try it?”  Yep, counselors have fears too sometimes 😉.  Sometimes it’s hard for us to practice what we preach.  Yeah, I know silly right?  Hey, we are all human. 

Anyways back to the fear of online counseling, I decided right then to jump in with both feet and as fear is (irrational thoughts) it was fine.  Now I love it and here’s why I encourage any client to try it.

Video I created about telehealth

Why You Should Consider Telehealth or Online Counseling during Pandemic

Telehealth is convenient

I am one of those Amazon Prime people who I’m sure the delivery guy hates my address.  As a busy counselor & mom, I love the convenience of Prime. They help my busy life by bringing me things without having to stop at the store. 

Now enter telehealth technology, where you don’t have to go to an office to see a doctor or counselor. It’s great for people who don’t have transportation, can’t go to see their therapist because the kids are sick or can’t fit therapy into their busy day to get to the office due to their work schedule.  It helps you find a counselor that is right for you and even if the counselor is not in your town.

It’s excellent because it’s totally less stress.  I’m in Clearwater, Florida so traffic is always a bear this time of year. No offense, snowbirds but you make it more crowded on the roads. It’s difficult to get anywhere timely.  Driving to an appointment can be very stressful and this option takes the stress away. Online counseling makes it easier and quicker to see a therapist or counselor.

Telehealth platforms are user friendly

Hey, I don’t claim to be super techy (ask my kids 😉 they know) but I can honestly say the telehealth platform I use Doxy. Doxy is HIPPA compliant (which means secure & confidential) and soooo super easy to use. 

You as the client clicks a link the provider sends you by email.  You will enter your first name and click check in.  On my end as the provider, I see you in my waiting room. I click your name & start the session connects.  

Telehealth can be used anywhere

Aaaaahhhh don’t I wish…..I’m so kidding about online counseling here but this would be completely awesome!!! 😊 😊 😊

Typically, I meet my clients in my office or my home office.  My home office for evening sessions.  I use headphones which block out the potential of conversations being overheard that way the session is kept secured. 

It is recommended my clients sit in a quiet space in their home. Finding a space where they will not be disturbed for the hour is ideal. 

Therapy is about being comfortable and safe. You are talking about some important topics to you that are causing you feelings of depression and anxiety.  Therefore, I recommend you find a quiet place where you can be more focused and not disturbed or distracted. 

To wrap up this post which I could go on about the benefits of telehealth. If you haven’t tried it, I would encourage you to strongly consider it.  It really is convenient, user friendly and you honestly can be anywhere. 

This type of platform helps open more availability for providers to help others. Sessions can occur outside of the 9 am to 5 pm office spots.  Telehealth has helped me be able to help more clients after hours and on the weekends which is wonderful. 

If you have any questions about telehealth please feel free to comment below and I will gladly answer them for you.  You can also email me your questions at cdathey9@gmail.com If you are ready to give online counseling a try click this link to schedule a session

To learn more about me, check out my LinkedIn profile

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How to Tell if You Need Better Boundaries

Depression, Happiness, Negative Thoughts, Relapse Prevention, Relationships, Self-Esteem /
it's important to your mental health to set healthy boundaries
Unhealthy boundaries can increase feelings of depression, anxiety and relapses.

When people don’t set boundaries well with others, it becomes glaringly evident. They start feeling more depressed, miserable and anxious. They feel their life is filled with constant drama & chaos. Situations feel well, suffocating. Typically life is full of chaos because others are not respecting any boundaries which always causes problems and especially with mood.

not setting boundaries can cause mental health issues
Unhealthy boundary signs

If this article has found you are feeling like life sucked any fun or enjoyment out of your day, it may be because of other’s bad behaviors. It becomes evident that healthy boundaries are not being put into place.

What is a boundary

First, let’s talk about what is a boundary and why should you set them.  The Webster definition of boundary is sort of complicated.  There are different forms of the definition like an actual fence and the type we are going to discuss is the “unofficial rules about what should not be done; limits that define acceptable behavior.”

So healthy boundaries are being able to define acceptable behavior or conduct. Let’s talk about how you can tell if you need better boundaries in your life and then how you can start to change that. 

You probably need better boundaries in your life if you feel like:

  • Relationships with others are exhausting & pretty dramatic
  • Making decisions is really, really hard for you
  • If you feel like you don’t feel respected, valued or heard
  • You worry about what other people think
  • You feel guilty a lot & even over little things

The benefits of setting boundaries in your life are awesome. You will start to feel better about yourself and your situation. You will have more energy. No more feeling completely drained emotionally & physically after dealing with toxic people. They are energy vampires. You will feel more independent and strong. Total win-win here.

Benefits of setting boundaries
Benefits of setting healthy boundaries are feeling better about yourself

Tips to begin to address changing and setting healthy boundaries in your life

  • Talking to a counselor may help you discover why you have been accepting bad behaviors from others & where this began (hint: typically, in childhood)
  • Sitting by yourself identifying core values & beliefs
    • (example: treat others how you want to be treated)
  • Create a journal list of 5 non-negotiable standards of behavior that you will & will not accept from others 
  • Work on feeling more confident and building your self-esteem

BTW as you start putting healthy boundaries or these standards of conduct that you will accept into your life into place, be prepared. The toxic, unhealthy people’s behaviors will get worse before it gets better and they will act out because they are not getting their way. Typically by manipulating, bullying or intimidating you. Think of these behaviors as an adult size temper tantrum because that is what it is.

It’s perfectly ok to stick with your boundaries, your stress will actually decrease. The toxic person is being forced to comply with your boundaries in order to interact with you. Guess what and if they don’t oh well- they will exit your life. Remember you are making them respect you and your boundaries. It’s so truly empowering!

For some help with this

As you can tell, most of the tips to start changing the situation will need some help from a counselor but you know what at least you can identify if you do in fact have an issue with healthy boundary setting and that’s a great start. 

If you are still unsure if you have a problem with boundaries, please feel free to reach out to me at (727) 815-6017 or check out book a session if you would like to talk about your situation in a session. I can help you figure out if this is a problem in your life and suggest the next step for you to start to change this.

To learn more about me, check out my LinkedIn profile

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Lions & Tigers & Anxiety – Oh My

Anxiety, Depression, Happiness, Negative Thoughts, Problem Solving, Self-Esteem /
Lions, tigers and anxiety oh my
Anxiety can truly be a bear at times 🙁

About anxiety

Ugh…. yes it can feel like a bear if we let it.  I have never met a person who does not feel anxious from time to time and sometimes anxiety can be unrelenting if you let it. 

I find that I meet many people feel crippled because of it.  People that are not enjoying their lives.  People that are stuck in their homes.  They are calling off work, not going to school and basically spending their days miserable.

Also I like to say anxiety typically goes with depression like peanut butter and jelly.  PB & J has always been one of my favs 😊 but when we look at anxiety, depression is typically there also. 

People that suffer from those mental health issues many times feel like anxiety is never going to go away which increases feelings of depression.  The never-ending anxiety/depression hamster wheel going around and around…. Exhausting. 

Tip to Alleviate Anxiety

That is why I decided to share my one awesome tip to alleviate anxiety and will reduce feelings of depression.  It may not make it go away entirely or immediately but I can pretty much guarantee with practice this skill will help you manage anxiety so it does not keep you stuck.

Also PSA I am not a psychiatrist nor do I play one on tv so this is helpful advice only and does not replace consulting with your medical or mental health provider.

Most Awesome Anxiety Reducing Tip Ever 

Find freedom from anxiety
Practice the following anxiety reducing tip and feel the freedom

The most effective tip to reduce anxiety IMHO is not Xanax or Klonopin (although these medications have proven to be helpful but I’m not a medication provider and as an addiction counselor can see how these medications can increase one’s dependency on medications – I’m more a natural approach kind of girl. 

Plus some of those medications have side effects that can make you tired and who wants that) So I know you are thinking what do I do then?

It basically boils down to control.  People are miserable when they try to control things that are outside of their control.  Anxiety and depression for that matter can really ramp up when we try to control things that are outside of our circle of control. Also this can increase the risk of any type of relapse. 

Circle of Control

So what types of things am I talking about? Other people’s behaviors, words, attitudes as well as circumstances. For example someone is rude to you, the car breaks down, the kids are sick or there are work policies/procedures that you can’t change. 

When you sit and think about why you feel anxious and what is causing it.  I can pretty much guarantee it (the worry or thought about the worry) is outside of your control. 

Ok so what is inside of your circle of control:  your thoughts, behaviors, attitudes and that my friend, is the key to reducing or stopping anxiety all together.

Freedom from anxiety is letting go of things outside of your control
Let go of what is outside of your control

Let’s try some examples: 

Situation Example:  I’m feeling anxious because I feel I am going to be late to a very important meeting.  I live in Fl (land of traffic jams & oh so many red lights 😉 ).  I am driving in my car and feel my anxiety creeping up in my chest. 

So to manage it, I take a deep breath (a breathe in and count to 3, hold the breath for 3 and breathe out and count to 3 type and talk to myself by saying “Ok am I in control of this traffic? Can I jump over cars to get to the meeting quicker? No of course not.  So I guess I will listen to my radio and realize I will get there when I get there.”  Next time to alleviate any anxiety, I will plan to leave a bit earlier to account for any possible traffic jams. 

Other People Example: I’m feeling anxious because when I am around Dan he makes me feel nervous.  To challenge this type of anxiety with another person examine your inner thought life.  People get anxious around other people when they do not feel confident in themselves. 

Some of the negative thoughts I may have for this example “I’m not as good as Dan.  I’m not as smart as Dan. “  To correct this thinking, here is a skill that works.  Inner thought:  “I’m am the best Cindy I can be.  Dan puts his pants on the same way I do.  He is no better than me so who cares what he thinks about me.  I’m just as good as he is.” 

When you examine the situation or your thoughts in this manner you take the pressure off which typically causes anxiety to decrease as well as depression.  You are letting go of people’s views or situations that are outside of your control. 

Letting it go

It’s all about looking at the situation or the other person logically and not emotionally.  Logically can you change traffic or someone else’s thoughts…..Nope so let it go.  This skill takes practice and you won’t get it all the time but with time you will see you can manage any anxiety easier and it will leave your body & mind quicker without the use of medication. 

You can beat anxiety
Love this quote from the Wizard of Oz ( I used to hang it on my fridge for motivation)

So comment below if you’ve tried this strategy for anxiety.  How did it help?  What did you do?  What was the anxiety about?  Also if you are struggling with anxiety or have questions about it, please comment below or email me at cdathey9@gmail.com. 

You can also click the link to book a free 15 min recovery journey strategy call

To learn more about me, check out my LinkedIn profile

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End Depression and Anxiety : Top 5 Posts

Anxiety, Depression, Negative Thoughts, Problem Solving, Self-Care, Self-Esteem /

Negative mindset, negative thoughts, fears, low self-esteem…. They all suck and have been clinically proven to increase feelings of depression, anxiety, anger, irritability and the so much more negative stuff.  Totally and completely draining and depressing. 

Are you over it?  Those thoughts that your life can’t change for the better and be peaceful, happy and well just satisfying. 

Well if you are…. I decided to dedicate a blog post as a sort of round up of my 5 most popular blog posts (by page views) that help you change the negative stuff into more positive stuff which in turns makes one truly happier 😊  (I’ve tried these and they work for me so my wish is they work for you too )

So here we go:

  1. Embracing Fears and Eliminating Them from Your Life
Learn to improve your self esteem to reduce depression and anxiety

2. The Biggest Contributor to Low Self-Esteem

Fear can increase depression & anxiety

3. How to End that Negative Mindset Quickly

change your thoughts change your mood

4. Absolutely the Best Ways I Have Found to Stay Positive

Best ways to stay positive and end depression

5. Finding Happiness – It’s Not as Impossible as You Think

Happiness can be found easily when you know where to look

So those are the top 5 blog posts I have written about how to change negative mindsets to pursue a peaceful life which in turn will cause negative feelings to go away and the positive ones will enter.  These posts will help you reduce feelings of depression and anxiety

So leave a comment below about which is your fav or how you go about changing a negative mindset into a positive one?  Sooooo till next time…………

Namaste friends 😊

You can learn more about me on my LinkedIn profile

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The Miracle that Comes after a Relationship Meltdown

Happiness, Problem Solving, Relationships, Self-Esteem /

Learn the positives of a relationship ending

Has your confidence ever been down or seems to not exist lately and especially after a break up or relationship meltdown? You know you feel like you can’t do anything right and especially after an important relationship in your life comes to a crashing end where you feel like the rug has totally, completely been pulled out from under you.

Well no worries, I have a way that will help you make better decisions next time cupid rolls into town as well as eliminate the low self-esteem, inner negative self-talk and low confidence that happens after a toxic relationship has ended.

People are all human and going to make mistakes, you are, I am and even the person you trusted and thought was “the one, your everything” will make mistakes. It’s just human nature. No one is perfect and one needs to accept that fact. Sometimes relationships don’t work out for many reasons such as the other person isn’t ready for one, you aren’t ready for one or it’s just fate, you two are not good together and that is what I am calling a relationship meltdown.

Stop Living in the Past 

I have learned you can’t remain in the past of the should have’s, would have’s or could have’s. It’s not healthy for you. One needs to accept the relationship ended, and if you’re reading this post it probably ended not in a good way, but the point is you need to continue to move forward.

Don’t get stuck in blaming yourself, the other person or just life in general. Life doesn’t suck, everything will be ok and it is what it is. The main point is to make sure you continue to move on, move forward even a baby step at a time but just forward and not backwards, stuck in the past.

I speak with people all the time who are stuck in the past and it’s sad…oh so sad. These people are dwelling on irrational thoughts of a failed relationship. They continue to stare at the relationship as if it was a Cinderella story when in fact it was closer to Kim and Kanye, a relationship meltdown. Yeah, a hot mess.

Use Your Inner Magnifying Glass

When examining why a relationship went bad, it is extremely important not to romanticize it and view it realistically. There were clues it wasn’t going right. Come on you saw it didn’t you? They were pretty neon bright, right? Your gut or intuition was probably telling you all along something wasn’t right.   In a good relationship, you don’t have to try so hard. It should not be painful or at the very least feel like you are putting more into it than the other person.

So here’s the part how you can get your head back in the game and the way to do that is to identify the pattern. There is always a pattern.  By that I mean a pattern of issues which you can see if you look closely enough at yourself.  Yes, I said yourself and not the other person.

I know that blows because who wants to admit they were part of an unhealthy relationship.  But seriously I did it and it became quite clear that for me, it boiled down to low self-esteem, insecurity, dreaded self-hate or sabotage.

In each of these relationships, my own inner guide or intuition told me “don’t do it, it doesn’t feel right” but then that darn emotional “I wanna be loved” voice started talking and it all seemed well romantic.

Anyways once I grasped the part of what my own inner issues were, I could see where the relationships were not right to begin with and the funny thing is I knew that the whole time.  The relationships were completely built out of insecurity, anxiety, perfectionism, my own inner character flaws.

So……Drop the Resentment and Bitterness

Anyways for a while I blamed the guy because any ending relationship stings.  It hurts and you get knocked down off the confidence ladder but once I determined the underlying theme of the guys,  got rid of the resentments towards them and came to terms with the “It is what it is” or more so “they are who they are” of the situation (reality) and person.   I found I was ok with the lessons I learned because they are lessons….life lessons that made me the stronger person I am today.

I learned that I would be just fine. I learned to always listen to my gut (intuition) and of course look at the pattern because there always is one. Yeah the guy or girl may not look the same as the last one but down deep there are similarities in thoughts, actions and themes. If you look with your inner magnifying glass it will be crystal clear at some point and that is very enlightening and helpful.

Finally if you need help in this area, please reach out to me.  Sometimes it is just good to hear an impartial point of view on a situation. 

Need some help,  click this link to book a free 15 min recovery strategy call and let’s talk about it.

You can learn more about me on my LinkedIn profile

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The Secret of Why Your Life Is Like a Fish tank

Anxiety, Depression, Happiness, Negative Thoughts, Self-Esteem /

Life is like a fish tank & how stress can happen

I was reading a book by Joyce Meyer recently (see below) and just completed it the other night.  A super quick read which I totally love when I like a book enough to blast through it.  Anyways part of my relaxation/sleep routine is read a few pages before bedtime.  It helps me get in the chill zone.

There was an analogy in the book about life being like a fish tank.  I wanted to share this insight with you because actually it has been helpful to me and one of those “Ahhhhh” moments in my life.   🙂

In the book and I’m totally paraphrasing but the main point was look at your life like a fish tank.  It will reflect how healthy you are.

So here is an exercise:

Shut your eyes and think of a big fish tank, you know the 50 gallon type that are typically in the Doctor’s office what do you see?

I see beautiful clear water with bubbles, all types of bright, vibrant colored fish swimming around, cool tank décor and then lots of healthy looking plants.  It looks peaceful and relaxing.  Do you see that? Can you hear the sound?  I sure do and love looking at tanks like this.

Now at the opposite end of the spectrum is the sick fish tank ☹.  How can you tell that tank is sick and has not been maintained or is overall doing poorly?  The tank has cloudy water, algae on the glass and all over the tank.  The fish are floating belly up or not really moving around and hanging out on the bottom of the tank barely moving.  Can you picture that?  I can….it looks sick and unkempt.

In the same way, our life or environment which is a main contributor to our mental health and moods are like a fish tank.  It takes a bit of work to maintain a fish tank in good working order and guess what the same goes for you and your mental health.

In a healthy fish tank, the water temperature and quality need to be right.  It’s a fine balance.  There also needs to be compatible fish in the tank.

When a fish tank is not in balance, what happens?  The fish fight and don’t survive (sometimes somebody eats the other ☹ ☹ ).  It’s quite a struggle.

In the same way, when life becomes unbalanced whether it’s having toxic, unsupportive people around you and the self-care slips, it causes a problem to your mind, body and spirit.    Depression, anxiety and stress can become overwhelming.

However, when one identifies underlying issues like dysfunctional relationships, puts themselves as the priority and corrects negative mindsets, they become happier and stress well when it occurs is easily handled.

So my question to you is how is your tank???? Is it beautiful and relaxing or sick and unkempt?

Here are some questions to ask yourself about your own situation?

  • Is your home or work environment peaceful, inviting and relaxing or messy, stressful and dirty?
  • What are the state of your relationships? Are they supportive and fun or toxic and demotivating?
  • Do you take care of yourself or do you find yourself not having enough time for that in your day?

Answering these questions will help you be able to determine what can be tweaked so that you are happier and less depressed or anxious.

Sooooo let me know in the comments below what you discovered.

If you need some help with managing stress and self-care, click here to book a free 15 min recovery journey call

To learn more about me check out my LinkedIn profile

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The Biggest Contributor to Low Self-Esteem

Depression, Negative Thoughts, Self-Esteem /

Let go of low self-esteem & the negative thinking in your head

Negative self-talk is the biggest contributor to low self-esteem.  Do you know that little voice in your head that lies to you and tells you, “You’re not good enough, you can’t do this or you’re a loser.”  That little nagging voice can be harmful to you and can totally bring your self-esteem down in a flash.

There are ways that you can turn that negative talk in your head into positive, moving forward, power talk that will inspire you to be your best, walk a little taller and confident. Well I want to share a few tricks that will turn those negative self defeating thoughts around.

Let Go of Perfection

Perfection is very unrealistic thinking but most people try to find it.  It is also a symptom of low self-esteem.   No one is perfect and no one ever will be. People are human and all make mistakes from time to time. To improve how you feel about yourself, you will need to do your best everyday even if you don’t feel like it.  Forget about being perfect and just be you.

Sometimes when you experience thoughts that make you feel bad about yourself which we all do that from time to time, you need to remember these low moods will change. They are always temporary and do not stick around long. If you find yourself stuck in a low mood for a few days, consider seeing your doctor to discuss it. It may be a more serious mental health issue.

You need to be realistic in the fact that it is ok not to be perfect. Perfectionism can be a real problem because it is basically setting yourself up for failure. It’s unachievable.  No one is perfect.  I have never met a person who has not made some type of mistake during their life.   It boils down to being realistic.  Yes, we want to be perfect but if I put that type of pressure on myself I am setting myself up for disappointment when I can’t deliver perfectionism.

It comes down to setting realistic goals in your life with a step by step and sometimes a baby step plan to get there.  When you make strides and check off a baby step on your list, you will find you are way more happier, feeling more confident, and yep, negative thoughts will not be the result.  You will feel more accomplished and the end result, feel better about yourself. A total win 🙂
 

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

There is no need to compare yourself to others because guess what, everyone is wonderfully unique with their own strengths,  gifts and abilities. Yep, you have them and they are different than mine. There’s no need to compare yourself to the next guy because the next guy is different than you.

So they may have an expensive car, watch, great shoes, husband, 2.5 kids, etc…. shiny things you want but the point is you need to consider most of the time things are not always what they seem. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
 
Many times when speaking to those people, I find they still have their own issues/problems and insecurities as crazy as that would seem.  Many of them suffer from low self-esteem as well.    The point is they have those old insecurities because they’re human, put their pants on the same way as you and I do.  We are all people, wonderfully wacky unique people with one of a kind gifts.
 

So to bring us back on point, your strengths, gifts and abilities, to find them ask yourself the following questions. What you are good at? What do you have a passion for? What are your abilities? What do other people say you’re good at?

Make a list of those qualities. You will be able to create a list. Sit somewhere quietly with a piece of paper and think. Try to make a list of a minimum of 5 strengths. You can do it. We all have at least 5 of them. Trust me they’re there.
 

Once your identify those gifts, embrace them as yours and you will feel more positive.  Look I would not recommend doing this if it did not work.  I only write about skills I know works because it worked for me and if I find myself having a rough go of it, I know I do feel better when I look at the good qualities I possess and you will too.

Let Go of the Negative Self-Talk & Low Self-Esteem

Now this one is the toughest of the bunch.  It becomes a bad habit quickly. The brain is pretty much hard wired to lean towards the negatives of situations. You have to make a conscious effort to go towards the positive. So what is one way a person can turn  that negative mood or mindset into a positive one, try affirmations.

Affirmations are statements that are positive in nature. Remember the list you made of the 5 strengths, well here is a homework assignment. Take an index card or piece of paper about that size and make affirmations out of your strengths.

Here’s what I mean. For example, let’s say one of my strengths I came up with for my list was people tell me “You’re so friendly”.  Ok so I would write on the index card “I am friendly” or “I am easy going”, or “I am a good friend” get the drift.  Now follow that with the other 4 strengths written into affirmations.

Take the index card and tape it some place where you will see it many times throughout your day. For example, you can hang it on the bathroom mirror where you brush your teeth. You can place the card in your car to look at when you are stopped in traffic or even hang it on the refrigerator.  I have a sticky on my computer monitor at work.  The point is put the card where you will see it a lot during the day. This way you will ingrain these statements into your mind.  You are retraining your brain.  This simple exercise will make you feel better about yourself. This works try it.

So work on making yourself feel better, by stop comparing yourself to others, stop trying to make everything perfect no one can and finally work on getting rid of that negative self-talk with affirmations.

Ok now I want to hear what you think about low self-esteem.  Please leave a comment below of how do you combat issues with it?  What are your tricks to staying more positive?
 
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