Substance Abuse – Page 2 – Cindy Athey, MS, MCAP, SAP

Why HALT Is Important to Your Recovery

Addiction, Alcohol Use, Substance Abuse / June 8, 2020

The 12 step groups have wonderful acronyms and short sayings to help you along in your recovery. You may be aware of the important HALT acronym but I get this question a lot in from clients so I felt I would explain it for folks who are not involved in 12 step groups as it is very helpful to your recovery.

The H.A.L.T. acronym is especially important to any successful recovery from substance abuse or any mental health disorder like anxiety, depression or eating disorders. It stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired.

The premise is if you are any of these states you are increasing your risk of relapse or coping with these states in an unhealthy way. The remedy to strengthen your recovery is not to be in these states.

Let’s break these down

HALT — Ask yourself these questions to help identify
any problems in your recovery

Hungry

Ever been so busy running around & slipped with nourishing your body with healthy foods? Yes, we all have, and it is hard to cope with stress when we have not been adding the right type of “fuel” to our machine. A major part of recovery has to do with the brain, so it is especially important to eat healthy foods on a regular basis.

Tip: Focus on eating regularly throughout the day and mostly healthy foods. Make sure you are drinking enough water.

Angry

We all get angry from time to time. However, many times people respond in anger quickly and do not stop and think when they experience it. This can increase the risk of relapse. You ask how?

Let’s look at this scenario. You get angry with your boss, get home from work and say “What a day! I need a drink”. Yep, it can happen that easily.

Tip: Stop and think when you become angry. Lots of times anger is due to something else. By stopping and thinking you can identify what is the underlying thing that is really making you mad. The example above could be that the person doesn’t like their job because they are not being treated with respect or it isn’t what they really want to be doing.

Lonely

Loneliness is a feeling that is not fun. Lots of time when people enter recovery, they feel lonely. All their “friends” are typically unhealthy. There is a lack of boundaries and once a person starts setting boundaries, they lose those connections.

People don’t like to be alone but can learn that’s it is healthy sometimes to be by yourself. You can work on you during those down times.

Tip: Embrace the alone time and focus on self care. Focus on learning more about yourself and how to make healthy supportive friendships.

Tired

When people are struggling in their recovery from drugs and alcohol or with other issues, they typically are not sleeping well. Insomnia can be an issue. When you become over tired, it is really hard to cope with stress in a healthy way.

Tip: Examine your sleep routine. Try some yoga or meditation before bedtime. Listen to a guided meditation to help you fall asleep.

If you find that you are struggling in your recovery and need some help creating a plan to get it back on track and avoid the states of HALT, click the link now to book your free 15 min recovery strategy call.

Why HALT is so important to your recovery

To learn more about me, check out my LinkedIn profile

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How to Tell if You Have a Drinking or Alcohol Use Problem

Addiction, Alcohol Use, Relapse Prevention, Substance Abuse / May 19, 2020

Drinking or alcohol use has risen during the pandemic and so have issues with it. One question I am asked quite frequently is to help people figure out if they have an alcohol problem. I decided to write about how you can decide for yourself if alcohol has become a problem in your life.

There is no shame in determining if this is a problem so just let that feeling go and sit by yourself and look at this.

It’s so important to let go of denial and really look at your life.

Also important side note before we go deeper in this topic: these are general indicators suggesting that you may have an issue with alcohol & not an alcohol use disorder diagnosis. There’s generally more involved in officially assessing a person for a substance use disorder. So speak to a professional or medical provider about this.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

1) How much & how often am I drinking?

If you are drinking daily that’s a problem and I’m including “Mommy Wine Time” in this.

Here is why I say that. We are creatures of habit. Just think about it. I typically always buy certain brands of food, toothpaste, jeans, etc… I pretty much stick to the same schedule each day (getting up at the same time & going to bed around the same time). If I start drinking daily, at some point it will become a habit or my stress management go-to.

For me, one drink will equal more like too many so I don’t drink. I’ve figured this out. If that’s you and you find more times than not the 1-2 recommended drinks turn into way more or maybe a bottle of wine, it’s a problem.

2) Do you have times when you can’t remember what has happened when you have been drinking?

When a person can still talk, walk or stagger and not remember what they did or what they said to others, this is a blackout. The BAC (blood alcohol concentration) increased too quickly and the brain basically shuts down to just managing essential body functions. Research has shown that short term memories are not being made. I think that is really scary in its own right.

3) Has your drinking caused problems in your relationships, finances, work or daily life?

Are other people in your life asking you to cut down on your drinking? This is a clear-cut sign that alcohol has become an issue. If you call off to work more than you go or perhaps when you are there you feel sick from being hungover, that is a clear sign as well that alcohol is a problem in your life. If your finances are all over the place and you are missing money after a night out, well you know the answer. Alcohol is a problem

4) Are there substance abuse issues in your family history?

Look at your parents, grandparents, siblings and cousins and see if there is a substance abuse history there. If there is, that increases your risk of having a substance abuse issue in your life.

5) Do you feel shame, embarrassment, anxiety or depression after you have been drinking?

Here’s the thing, if you feel these feelings chances are you already know it’s a problem in your life. Alcohol is a depressant so it’s very nature will make you feel more depressed. However, shame tells the tale and no one likes to feel that.

6) Is drinking working for you?

An important thing to finally look at is how is alcohol working for you in your life. If it’s causing issues, it’s not working. Just looking at it to see if it’s worth the hassle is recommended.

Alcohol does not relieve anxiety and stress. Yes, it feels relaxing initially but at some point you go over that “I drank too much” cliff and then it actually increases anxiety and stress.

Decided You May Need Some Help With This?

If you notice after looking at these questions that you may have difficulties with drinking, treatment is helpful. There are different types of treatment such as inpatient, outpatient, individual and group therapy. The good news is that treatment is not uniform and it is tailored specifically to your situation. Essentially not everyone needs rehab.

Most important is to remember an alcohol problem is not a personal failing in you. It is indicative of a deeper problem that needs worked on.

Those types of issues could be low self-esteem, previous trauma, codependency, anger and the list can go on. It’s always best to talk with a professional to figure that out. They will be able to help you come up with a treatment plan that will work for you.

Also if you drink daily and a great quantity, talk to your medical professional prior to stopping. Unfortunately at some point alcohol abuse becomes a chronic physical health issue. Your medical provider will be able to assess where you are at with that.

If you need assistance figuring out the next step schedule your free 15 minute recovery strategy call. The call will help you determine your next step in your recovery journey.

Click this link & you will be taken to the book a session page

Book Your Free 15 Min Recovery Strategy Call

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Addiction Relapse Again…. Now What?

Addiction, Relapse Prevention, Substance Abuse / May 6, 2020

I was thinking about all the people who had an addiction relapse yesterday on Cinco de Mayo AKA Cinco de Drinko and are feeling bad about themselves today. And if you are one of those people who are reading this right now I wanted to give you encouragement that you can beat this. Substance abuse is not an easy mountain to climb but you know what you can do it.

(a little bit of self-disclosure here) I am a former binge drinker. Yeah I know hard to believe right? Well I personally know how you are feeling this morning. I know you feel like you screwed up yet again. I understand and have felt the embarrassment, the shame, the “WTF seriously you know better” thoughts you are feeling.

So I thought I would give you a few tips/encouragement on how to shake off those crappy, self-defeated thoughts while you are recovering from yesterday’s relapse.

I want you to know this:

Addiction relapse can happen when you do not have healthy strategies in place.

The risk increases when you let your guard down and are missing meetings, counseling sessions or working on improving yourself because you are too busy.

Relapses happen when you have not changed the toxic, unhealthy people in your life. I know some of these people are family members and may take a little extra skill set to deal with that but totally can be done.

I know setting and sticking to boundaries sucks at first. It’s scary. If you do stick to boundaries (personal standards/rules) and eliminate those toxic people in your life, recovery is way easier.

If you are not actively working on your recovery, you are actively working towards your next addiction relapse. (READ THAT AGAIN)

It is an important statement and truth.

I speak to people who relapse over and over again. Shoot I was there for a bit in their shoes years ago. I know it sucks but the common thread is they have not changed their behaviors and mindsets. They have failed to address the root of the problem.

Addiction is not the root of the problem. Addiction is the ineffective coping strategy used to cover up the problem, whatever it may be.

Counseling helps get to the root of that problem, process those feelings and helps you learn healthy strategies to put into place so that an addiction relapse becomes a thing of the past.

I know for a fact you can put substance abuse in your past because I have done that. Do I ever say….Cindy you will never drink again. Nope because I feel that is setting myself up for failure.

Here’s an example of why I say that….. I love chocolate cake. If I say to myself, you will never eat chocolate cake again because it’s too fattening. Guess what, I will more than likely really want chocolate cake because my mind will be tricked into thinking I am missing out on something delicious.

Same goes for alcohol in my book. I give myself the choice. When that choice presents itself & it does on occasion, I am confident that I am not going to drink. I know the dark road it leads down and I am at a place in my life that I will not put myself through that pain and suffering again. My relationship with alcohol is over. Essentially I kicked it to the curb and realize it doesn’t work for me. You can get to that spot too.

The 12 step meetings say play the tape out. So if I play the tape out, one drink leads to too many and I end up throwing up, passing out and waking up not remembering what I did and what I said to whom. I know when I wake up I will feel like shit, mentally and physically. So I chose not to drink.

I chose to surround myself with healthy people who are not power drinkers. I chose to cope with feelings in healthier ways like reading, napping, playing with the dog, meditation or talking to healthy friends.

So if you relapsed yesterday, that’s ok. Sit with yourself today, let go of the shame and think about what actions you can take to start back on your road to recovery.

It is a journey and with any journey there may be ups and downs. This substance abuse/addiction journey you are on can end successfully in recovery. Right now you have hit a down spot but I know you can turn it around.

If you are struggling and unsure of what step to take to get back on track, please click the link here to schedule a free 15 min recovery strategy call. Let’s talk about what is the next step for you to take on your recovery journey.

Want to learn more about me, check out my LinkedIn profile

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A Letter to You About Online Counseling

Addiction, Finding a Counselor, Relapse Prevention, Substance Abuse / April 24, 2020

I wrote you a letter to discuss the benefits of online counseling during the pandemic & why it’s super important for you to reach out.

Dear Reader,

I wanted to write a quick letter to you to alleviate any fears you may have about starting online counseling. I am an addiction counselor in Clearwater and as you know, trying to cope with the pandemic as well.

Our world has changed significantly in the past month. Counseling has turned to online or phone sessions. Counselors like me understand that many are fearful of trying this new format, who likes change anyways. I wanted to write a short letter to help alleviate any concerns you may have.

Telehealth also known as online counseling has been around for a while. It has been under-utilized but now has been placed in the forefront as the way to get counseling. Counselors are not in their offices right now and working from home.

Getting Started with Online Counseling

I wanted to give some basic information about how to get started with teletherapy. Actually it is very easy. Your counselor will email or text you an invite or link to the telehealth platform they are using such as Zoom or Doxy. These platforms are HIPPA compliant and secure.

I know you have read in the press lately about Zoom having issues with a breech in security. I am happy to report they initiated a password for each provider to use for sessions which has minimized the issue. To be honest, I guess I was one of the lucky ones because I never had a session compromised.

Once you connect the session by clicking the link or invite, you will see your therapist on the other end. It’s super easy. I recommend clients wear headphones or ear buds as it helps keep the conversation confidential, more focused, and easier to hear.

Tips for Online Counseling

I also recommend clients find a quiet place to talk. With kids home from school, that may mean taking a break talking in the car, sitting outside or in a quiet location inside the home while they play their video games or watch one of their shows.

Why Counseling is Important Right Now

Counseling is especially important at a time like this. We are all in the midst of experiencing something new, Covid-19 and stay at home orders. We have lost our normal and are trying to cope and adjust. Some people handle change easily and others struggle with it.

This time has caused an amplification of different types of stress such as financial stress if you have lost your job, family stress like all of sudden becoming the full time teacher/parent or loss of freedom to go where you want to with who you would like to as well as work stress if you are an essential worker.

This stress can increase feelings of grief/loss, anxiety, depression, anger and that is totally ok. However, learning to cope with those feelings in a healthy way is very important to your mental health. We are all in the same boat. Taking it one day or news conference at a time.

Online counseling is one of those tools that can help you learn to put healthy coping skills into place to help manage your symptoms and reduce conflicts in the home and reduce the risk of relapses to use of alcohol and drugs to self-medicate.

Counseling is a safe place to discuss how you are feeling because at times it can be difficult to discuss with family members because it just adds additional stress which will cause conflicts. Remember your family is going through this collective trauma as well.

How to Find an Online Counselor

So to wrap this up, I hope this letter finds you well and if you are struggling, please reach out to a counselor to help you. Many are accepting new clients. You can find them in a directory like Psychology Today.

When you go to Psychology Today, each counselor was asked to indicate how they were offering their services during the pandemic. It’s on their profile. Many indicate telehealth only at this time, accepting new clients or sliding fees so just check it out.

Or if you already have a counselor, please reach out to them to schedule a session. Many are offering sliding scales or shorter sessions to help with the financial aspect of counseling during the pandemic.

Also if you want to talk about this or having any questions please reach out to me here and book a free 15 min phone consultation. You are under no obligation to book a session but I can help you by answering any questions you may have.

Wishing you peace & serenity,

Cindy

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Why Recovery Feels Harder Right Now

Addiction, Relapse Prevention, Substance Abuse / April 15, 2020

Why recovery feels harder during the pandemic — Why recovery feels harder right now during covid-19

Covid-19 has been such a sad and awful game changer to our lives this past month. Here in Clearwater I’m on week 4 of the Stay at Home order. Due to the increase in feeling anxious, stressed and depressed, it has been more difficult for people to stay clean and sober. I have been getting more calls about helping people who are struggling with recovery.

I wanted to share my thoughts about this. Mainly in the hopes of helping someone who is struggling (TBH we all are 😉 ). If you look at our typical everyday life pre-covid, it was running around from task to task. These could be kids, school, work, household duties, cooking and now all of sudden that has all changed or stopped.

Most people do not like change and have a difficult time accepting it. Therefore, an increase in negative thoughts like worry, doubt or depression tends to occur.

Here’s the reason why your early recovery is feeling harder

Most people with substance abuse issues never really “deal” with their feelings. Addicts & alcoholics numb it out or block it out by being drunk or high.

For example, if you are drunk or high chances are, you will not be too worried about the situation because you are feeling good at the moment. However, at some point the floor drops out and you are left struggling with increased feelings of depression, anxiety or shame. A crappy trifecta.

Most times when people are in an active addiction, they are not used to being by themselves feeling real feelings. Those feelings and previous traumas have been suppressed for a long time.

Part of recovery is embracing that alone time to work on you. Sometimes this can mean reaching out for help from professionals. Typically self-esteem is low right now. Struggling to improve that can feel like a huge mountain to climb. However, reframing your thoughts or looking at them in a different way is helpful.

Let me show you what I mean about reframing a thought:

Some examples may be:

Just reading this blog post means you are further along in your recovery than people that are drunk or high right now.
Being drunk or high all the time is not working for you.
You are brave to even start to look at this part of yourself.
You are learning about addiction and well on your way to overcoming it and moving on in a healthier way of life (that serenity they talk about 😊 ).

Those are 4 quick examples that I thought of just sitting here that can help you raise your self-esteem. You know why because they are true and facts. Feelings are not facts. We are not looking at feelings right now only facts. I’m sure you can think of some more as well. I recommend people write the facts down & hang them up where they can see.

Recovery is based out of truth.

The truth is we know you have a problem or you would not be reading this. The truth is there are tons of people that get clean & sober and stay clean & sober. Another truth is the past can never be changed no matter how much we want to change it.

It can be initially hard to look at. However if not looked at, the problem it will continue to go down a dark road and who wants that??? Not me, so to change that.

I had to get comfortable being uncomfortable with myself. I had to learn to become comfortable with my alone, down time. Easy, nope but I got reconnected with my spiritual side which I don’t typically talk about too often with others as they are either on board or not with that type of thing. However, recovery is an individual process. What has worked for me may not work for you but unless you try you will never know.

Wrap Up

So to wrap this post up let me just add, you can do this. There is no reason why you cannot stay clean and sober. You can learn to like being alone with yourself. You can raise your self-esteem. Those are facts as well because I’ve done them all.

There will no longer be a sick & tired of being sick & tired feeling. A little 12 step saying but you know what they are sooo truly valid to substance abuse or mental health). I say them all the time to myself. BTW there are tons of online 12 step meetings right now. Embrace change, let go of things that once were and enter recovery. You will not regret it.

If you are ready to get started with your recovery journey, click this link to book a session for a free 15 min recovery journey strategy call.

So I guess that is about it for now. Please take care and be safe.

For more information about me, check out my LinkedIn profile

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How to Stay Clean & Sober During Pandemic Stay at Home Orders When the Other Adults There Aren’t

Addiction, Finding a Counselor, Relapse Prevention, Self-Esteem, Substance Abuse / April 2, 2020

It can be difficult to stay clean & sober when others in your home are not during the pandemic stay at home orders

In Florida where I live the “Safer at Home” order has just been changed to a “Stay at Home” order during the pandemic. This pandemic has caused all sorts of trauma & one important one in recovery is that we have lost our freedom to leave a situation when we want to. I know people are struggling with staying clean and sober during this time because of all that stress and stay at home orders.

I wanted to provide some quick tips to help anyone stay clean and sober even if the rest of the adults in the household are not.

My Facebook feed is filled with people stuck at home, bored and what are they doing day-drinking, having booze delivered, memes about remaining hammered most of the day.

So if you find yourself struggling to stay sober and the adults in your family are not cooperating, here are a few tips to help you.

Try to set healthy boundaries with your family (I know easier said than done 😉 )

Here’s the thing, most people who are struggling with a substance use disorder have some type of dysfunction in their family. Trust me, its not only your family. All families have some type of dysfunction.

So if you try to set a healthy boundary such as asking them not to bring alcohol in the house and it is still brought into the house, don’t start a confrontation just try to cope with it a different way.

Important Tip: Many relapses start from confrontations with family members who are not sober. Just walk away & let it go

Let Go of Things Outside of Your Control & Take It One Day at a Time

These are 2 big game changing concepts to look at. Many people are panicking about things outside of their control. Remain in the present moment, do what you can today that really is all we can do.

So what can you do today to help strengthen your recovery, minimize risk of relapse & remain calm

Find a quiet spot & read the Big Book
Attend a Virtual 12 Step Meeting Options (there’s a bunch)
- AA http://aa-intergroup.org/directory.php
- NA https://www.neveraloneclub.org/
Learn how to Meditate & remain in the present moment
- Try a free app like Calm or Headspace
Avoid confrontations – You are not going to change them
Video chat/text friends/sponsor who are in recovery
Go sit outside in your yard in the sunshine 😊
Create a list for yourself of the great 12 step sayings to read over or hang up in your room (they’re short & sweet but very powerful)
- Here’s a few for you
  - Easy Does It
  - Progress not Perfection
  - Just for Today
  - This Too Shall Pass
  - Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes
  - Let Go & Let God (or whomever your higher power is)

Remember the most important takeaway from this post: If you are not actively working on your recovery, you are working on your next relapse

So friends, just take it easy and remember this too shall pass. We will move past this pandemic. We are resilient and will be able to resume normal everyday life soon.

Until then, the best way to stay clean & sober is to have a plan of things you can actively do to stay clean & sober.

If you are struggling with sobriety please feel free to reach out to me here in the comments below or give me at call at (727) 815-6017. Also if you would like to schedule an individual session to discuss things confidentially please check out this page https://cindythecounselor.com/book-a-session/

Tips on how to stay clean & sober at home when other adults in the home are not

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Toxic Relationships: How to Identify Them

Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Negative Thoughts, Relationships, Self-Care, Substance Abuse / March 10, 2020

learn to identify toxic relationships in your life — Learn how to identify the toxic people in your life here in the new Toxic Relationship Workbook

Toxic relationships can be found everywhere in daily life…at the office and unfortunately sometimes in our homes. Most of the time these type of people ruin our mood and day.

Toxic by its very definition means poisonous. Since I assume you are smart enough not to just have a cup of poison with your breakfast since you are here reading this blog post why would it be ok to be around a “friend” or family member who is toxic for your mind?

According to a survey conducted by Today.com and Self magazine of 22,000 people, 1 in 3 people had a toxic friend or toxic relationships in their life¹. Whoa now that is a lot of people struggling with unhealthy relationships. Being around toxic people increases feelings of depression, anxiety and emotional exhaustion.

In this post, I would like to discuss how to spot these toxic people so you can identify them in your own life and then how to avoid them or limit your exposure to them so you can improve your mood.

Toxic people or toxic relationships look like this:

The toxic person is always talking about themselves and their latest drama
The unhealthy person is always the victim of something/the ultimate pessimist
Toxic people are manipulative and judgmental
They are inconsistent, disrespectful and embarrassing at times
They never apologize for their actions (it’s always someone else’s fault)
An unhealthy person will make you feel like defending yourself
They are exhausting to be around (when you leave them you are extremely mentally over it)
Toxic people are not caring and selfish.
They lack empathy.

Here’s a great infographic I found of the various types of toxic people which I must say is spot on. Don’t you think so as well.

Types of toxic relationships that you may have in your life — Learn how to cope with these folks in the NEW Recovery Journey Workbook – Toxic Relationships

Look at your own life and I’m pretty sure you can come up with a name or 2 of people in your life that may not be very healthy to be around. The problem also can be compounded if these toxic people are family members.

I’m a counselor and as for myself I have never met a totally functional family. To be honest, all families even my own have some type of dysfunction. So don’t worry if some of the big offenders are from the family list.

Listen by minimizing how much time you spend with these energy vampires each day, you will feel less depressed, less anxious, better about yourself and more confident. It’s a total win.

So how do you cope with these people that you have identified and what about the ones you can’t totally avoid, what do you do with that?

Set healthy boundaries & limit contact with them
Put your own mental health as the priority & let them go to voicemail
Decide to let go of things outside of your control (other people’s bad behavior for instance)
Trust your intuition (if something seems off with the person then it is)
Create a cheat sheet/list of excuses why you can’t chat with them right now or visit
Work on improving your self esteem & confidence by talking with a counselor
Incorporate more self-care into your week (will increase strength to deal with these types of people)

Once you start making yourself the priority in your own life, you will feel more empowered. Your mood will be less depressed and anxious. You will not find yourself constantly self-medicating the emotional overwhelm with food, drugs, shopping and alcohol. You won’t feel so over it and checked out of your own life. It’s important for your mental health to look at this issue.

Also if you are anxious about losing these folks from your life, let me assure you there are plenty of supportive healthy individuals out there. Setting healthy boundaries is all about finding the healthy people because they will show you respect, love and kindness which is what life is supposed to be about.

So if you should have some toxic people in your life, no worries, we have all been there but it’s about making yourself the priority & find the healthy supportive friends.

Updated 10/24/20: if you would like to help yourself learn how to cope with toxic relationships & build your confidence check out the new Recovery Journey Workbook – Toxic Relationships. It’s a digital download so you get it immediately. Click here to go to the workbook.

To display the new Recovery Journey - Toxic Relationship workbook in the Etsy shop — This workbook is priced at $7.99 to help people from any budget. Click the here to go to the Toxic Relationship Workbook

If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below. I would love to chat about this.

Also if you would like help learning to set healthy boundaries with toxic people in your life, book your free 15 min recovery strategy call

¹Reference: https://www.today.com/health/toxic-friends-8-10-people-endure-poisonous-pals-1C9413205

Infographic https://www.studypk.com/narcissistic-sociopath-psychopath-different-types-of-toxic-people/

Toxic people will negatively effect your mental health & increase your risk of relapses

To find out more about me, check out my LinkedIn profile

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Why Online Counseling May Be Right for You

Anxiety, Depression, Finding a Counselor, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Substance Abuse / February 18, 2020

online counseling is very convenient and easy to use — Telehealth is truly an awesome tool for therapists

Almost a year ago I branched out into telehealth also known as online counseling. I am trained in telehealth, but fear stopped me from pursuing this in my practice.

One afternoon, I was sitting (I remember exactly where I was) doing paperwork and thought “how can you expect your clients to embrace online counseling if you won’t try it?” Yep, counselors have fears too sometimes 😉. Sometimes it’s hard for us to practice what we preach. Yeah, I know silly right? Hey, we are all human.

Anyways back to the fear of online counseling, I decided right then to jump in with both feet and as fear is (irrational thoughts) it was fine. Now I love it and here’s why I encourage any client to try it.

Video I created about telehealth

Why You Should Consider Telehealth or Online Counseling during Pandemic

Telehealth is convenient

I am one of those Amazon Prime people who I’m sure the delivery guy hates my address. As a busy counselor & mom, I love the convenience of Prime. They help my busy life by bringing me things without having to stop at the store.

Now enter telehealth technology, where you don’t have to go to an office to see a doctor or counselor. It’s great for people who don’t have transportation, can’t go to see their therapist because the kids are sick or can’t fit therapy into their busy day to get to the office due to their work schedule. It helps you find a counselor that is right for you and even if the counselor is not in your town.

It’s excellent because it’s totally less stress. I’m in Clearwater, Florida so traffic is always a bear this time of year. No offense, snowbirds but you make it more crowded on the roads. It’s difficult to get anywhere timely. Driving to an appointment can be very stressful and this option takes the stress away. Online counseling makes it easier and quicker to see a therapist or counselor.

Telehealth platforms are user friendly

Hey, I don’t claim to be super techy (ask my kids 😉 they know) but I can honestly say the telehealth platform I use Doxy. Doxy is HIPPA compliant (which means secure & confidential) and soooo super easy to use.

You as the client clicks a link the provider sends you by email. You will enter your first name and click check in. On my end as the provider, I see you in my waiting room. I click your name & start the session connects.

Telehealth can be used anywhere

**Aaaaahhhh don’t I wish…..I’m so kidding about online counseling here but this would be completely awesome!!! 😊 😊 😊**

Typically, I meet my clients in my office or my home office. My home office for evening sessions. I use headphones which block out the potential of conversations being overheard that way the session is kept secured.

It is recommended my clients sit in a quiet space in their home. Finding a space where they will not be disturbed for the hour is ideal.

Therapy is about being comfortable and safe. You are talking about some important topics to you that are causing you feelings of depression and anxiety. Therefore, I recommend you find a quiet place where you can be more focused and not disturbed or distracted.

To wrap up this post which I could go on about the benefits of telehealth. If you haven’t tried it, I would encourage you to strongly consider it. It really is convenient, user friendly and you honestly can be anywhere.

This type of platform helps open more availability for providers to help others. Sessions can occur outside of the 9 am to 5 pm office spots. Telehealth has helped me be able to help more clients after hours and on the weekends which is wonderful.

If you have any questions about telehealth please feel free to comment below and I will gladly answer them for you. You can also email me your questions at cdathey9@gmail.com If you are ready to give online counseling a try click this link to schedule a session

To learn more about me, check out my LinkedIn profile

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Tips to Surviving A Dysfunctional Family Holiday

Relapse Prevention, Relationships, Substance Abuse / November 20, 2019

Tips to survive a dysfunctional family holiday — Surviving another dysfunctional family holiday like Thanksgiving

Another dysfunctional family holiday. I know (enter huge sigh) ….everyone loves the turkey, stuffing & pumpkin pie 😊 but how about negative family comments, the jealousy, the friendly sibling rivalry which is all but not friendly? Yeah I didn’t think very stress-free especially if you are new to recovery. This can cause a huge relapse risk for you if not planned in advance.

Also don’t feel bad if you are checking this out, you know why according to John Bradshaw, family systems therapy advocate, states 97% of all families have some type of dysfunction.

Yep, yours, mine and the other guys so no worries that you are alone right 😉 So here are some quick tips to help you manage through this day.

Create a quick escape plan

Instead of falling prey to a trigger that could start a relapse, figure out a quick escape plan. Examples of a plan could be: you will be the runner to the store for more ice or butter or rolls, whatever just to go out to the local 7-11 & get a breather. They’ll be open.

I’m not one for lying but sometimes a little white lie is necessary if it is going to keep you clean and sober. So a few more examples may be getting some type of awful migraine & need to go lay down for a bit or even having to run back home because of the dog.

It’s really important to put yourself first in this area because most people relapse during or after a holiday with their family.

Here’s why…. old stuff gets dragged back up, comments are said that are meant to be hurtful, arguing happens or someone else gets drunk and then it starts to look like the Jerry Springer show on steroids.

You can manage this by simply planning. If you already know so & so gets drunk at every family get together, then you know it will probably happen this year so create a plan for that.

Stay Away from Hot Topics

Not the store, I mean politics and religion. Nothing can start a family argument quicker than those 2 topics. I grew up in a household where both political parties were represented and sometimes not in a good way.

My best advice stay away from these conversations. If it comes up, it is perfectly ok to excuse yourself from the table or leave the room until it settles down.

It is perfectly ok for you to set a healthy boundary and try to change the conversation to another topic. For example, you can say, “I don’t feel comfortable discussing this anymore, let’s change the subject.”

Go to a Meeting

If the situation is too high risk for you, in which being around the fighting, the drama, “I’m just trying to be helpful” but not really comments are too much, google a meeting.

There is a reason that the 12 step clubs offer 24 hour meetings around these big holidays because most people with substance abuse issues have dysfunctional families.

So the take away is if you feel like going to a meeting, go to a meeting. The great part is you will not be alone, you will be around others that needed a break from the drama and it will help you put your recovery back into perspective.

Final thoughts are if you create a plan for your upcoming dysfunctional family holiday or at the very least think about how you are going to handle situations that you know are going to come up, you will be less likely to relapse and more likely to enjoy at least part of the yummy meal.

If you would like to reach out to me about this, please feel free to do so I offer a free phone consultation and can help you create a quick strategy to help you stay clean and sober during this holiday. So give me a call (727)815-6017 & let’s talk about it or you can fill out this form & I will get a hold of you. Happy Thanksgiving!!!

If you would like more info about me, check out my LinkedIn profile

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What Your Addicted Loved One Wants You to Know About Their Addiction

Addiction, Problem Solving, Relapse Prevention, Relationships, Substance Abuse / October 21, 2019

Your addicted loved one wants you to know that they are not using drugs and alcohol to upset you

I work with people who suffer from being addicted all sorts of things and not just drugs and alcohol. Addictions can come in the form of negative thinking, shopping too much, gambling, gaming, toxic relationships, any type of behavior that is over the top in a compulsive way.

If you are reading this, chances are you have a loved one, family member or friend who has an addiction or at the very least you suspect they are addicted to drugs or alcohol. In my work, I have noticed common misconceptions families are unaware of when it comes to addiction, which is a complicated disease that I would like to discuss on behalf of your addict or alcoholic.

They did not choose to be addicted to anything

I have never met a young child who listed a career/life goal of becoming a drug addict, alcoholic, gambler, compulsive shopper or parolee. Addiction is a brain disease not a moral failing.

Use of drugs and alcohol or even compulsions change the brain. There is tons of research and findings that prove this. If you want to learn about it, do a simple google search. There are tons of research studies. Addiction is now characterized as a brain disease and not a personal choice.

Stopping is actually quite terrifying to them

Your loved one uses drugs to “escape” their feelings. It’s ineffective of course and destructive but they have not learned healthy coping strategies for previous trauma, dysfunctional family systems or other mental health issues to put into place. Therapy can be helpful for some once the medical issues are stabilized.

Your nagging, bitching, eyerolls, sarcasm will not stop this disease.

Many addicts and alcoholics say their families and friends just don’t get it. They don’t listen and this causes an addiction to get worse. The “helpful” comments are not helpful. They increase the thoughts of self-loathing and shame.

Stop the comments/humiliation, use healthy communication or distraction to help an addict see there is a healthy way to do life. Right now, they understand that drugs/alcohol are not the healthy way, but they are lost. Haven’t you ever felt lost at some point in your life? Unsure where to go? If you answer no, you are not being truthful to yourself. We all have felt that way at some point.

They don’t like themselves

The shame of having an addiction is huge and it causes many people a lot of pain. Addicts are in a lot of emotional pain. Pain from trauma, pain from not feeling worthy, pain that they can’t stop and the list goes on. How can you help them? By showing them unconditional love, not enabling love. So when they ask for money, say no, set healthy boundaries for you and them.

You cannot dictate their rock bottom.

There is a personal growth component to recovery. If a family member keeps posting bail or helping an addict out in some way, it can alleviate the short-term pain but there will be no long-term gain. The behavior will continue.

Many say there is a rock bottom. I believe there is to some degree but it’s a personal journey and that person must discover that for themselves. Family & friends can’t “help” a person get to their rock bottom any faster than they get there. It’s frustrating and worrisome I get it. Addiction is a war on the mind, body & soul and unfortunately, we cannot stop it. The addict/alcoholic must stop it.

Maybe it takes them to sit in jail for a few days, lose their home, lose their kids temporarily but the addict has to discover what their rock bottom is personally to them and then they decide how to get back what they have lost. If they aren’t ready the addiction will continue because they haven’t got to this point of self-discovery.

Final Thoughts for Family/Friends

So to close, I hope this article helps you understand a little bit more about how the addict/alcoholic is thinking and that really there is not much you can do to stop them being addicted to drugs and alcohol. They have to take that step for themselves but you can provide emotional support along the way and encouragement that there is a way out. Hope can help fuel a recovery and the 12 step meetings prove there are many people who have overcome these issues.

If you should know an addict/alcoholic that is serious about changing their situation, please click the link to book a free 15 min recovery journey strategy call. There are many solutions to addiction that can be helpful to your family member and the family as a whole.

If you would like more info about me, please check out my LinkedIn profile

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